Will this never end?
I am not a very good blogger so far but, honestly, it is not my fault. You see this morning, noon and night sickness just goes on and on, and on and on some more. For all you ladies out there who have suffered through this I tip my hat (were I to be wearing one) to you. For all you men who have suffered through this...oh right...give me a break.Well, now to be fair to all the men who have had to deal with their significant others dealing with this I know it must not be a picnic either. I know my own husband is trying to be patient and understanding but I also know he does not remotely understand. I can see it in his eyes. Oh yes, he wants to understand but mostly he wants to not make dinner any more (well if you can call ordering in or picking up fast food "making dinner") and he wants me to stop being so cranky. OK, well being that this, our third child, was a bit unexpected (not to be confused with unwanted as we are now very happy about this) and I did not plan on wanting to heave my cookies at every step I take then I think it is understandable that I am cranky.
I have put my life on hold (well as much as you can with a 6 year old boy and 3 yearold girl around 24/7) while I contemplate what move will not make me feel sick. I have eaten ginger, sipped gingerale, tried to drink ginger beer (ugh, no), bought and worn bright red sea bands (accupressure bands you wear on your wrist that look a bit like tennis sweat bands but kind of hurt), eaten various crackers to no effect and finally am on medication which also does not seem to help. But it's all for the greater good, right? (that line makes me laugh...reminds me of the movie The Incredibles where Frozone's wife says "I am the greatest good you will ever have." Ahh priceless...but I digress...) My husband keeps assuring me I will wake up tomorrow and it will be gone and I'll feel better. Umm, which tomorrow would that be precisely? At 14.5 weeks it has shown no signs of going away and some mornings I feel that it may be worse but I'm sure it's all in my head. That big bucket beside the bed is only ornamental.
To top this off there is a teacher's strike here where I live and that means no school for my 6 year old who is in Grade 1. Now, while I love my son desperately it is imperative that he go back to school soon. He is a very active child and while I can normally keep my 3 year old daughter calm with some activity when child #1 is around it is impossible. They don't ever sit still. Not ever. It has been raining for days and our house is shrinking from it I'm sure. Every day it gets smaller and the children just run in circles. The circle running does not help my nausea at all as just watching them makes me dizzy. Trying to feed them at 30 minute intervals (which seems to be how often they are hungry, but maybe I should be fair and make that more like 45 minutes because I am able to distract them sometimes) is next to impossible when even being in the kitchen makes me sick.
Oh yes, the kitchen is the worst part of the house. Now I am normally someone who loves to cook and make stuff and the kitchen (and all my wonderful gadgets) is my special place. Well now it is a pit of smells that makes my stomach turn just walking by it. Everyone swears it does not smell in there (and I have asked everyone who has been there to go and find the smell and get rid of it but no one else smells anything wrong). I cannot let my children starve as much as I'd like to avoid the kitchen so I do brave the waves so to speak and try to make the kids something to eat. Now picture a woman holding her breath as she opens the fridge door, grabs whatever she can and closes it running out of the kitchen at light speed before being overcome by rising of the tide in her stomach. She does only to realize that the squash she grabbed blindly not only has to be cooked but that her children will not eat it in any event. Great - well who's up for another peanut butter sandwhich?
The thing is that pregnant women need to eat too. Surprising, I know. While I try to avoid that too (since that means I have to go back in to the kitchen) not eating makes me just as sick as most foods. So this morning I am sensible and have some cereal which I feel is a safe choice but now just sits in the bottom of my stomach as if it is a visitor waiting to leave. Ugh. I have cravings too but of course not of anything I might actually have in the house. Luckily these usually happen when my wonderful husband is home and he is usually game to go search them out if it will only make me happy for a moment.
I feel I am letting my husband down. You see, I want to be happy. I certainly would not wish this never ending motion of sickness on anyone. I want to laugh and play with my kids and happily cook meals for our family and do all sorts of things. I try to make him understand that all I feel capabale of doing is hiding under the covers and hoping that the moment I do move won't cause me to wish I hadn't. I don't want to take a deep breath of air and suddenly realize that something smelled they way it shouldn't and I need to find a whole different airspace now or pay the consequences.
It's a good thing this baby's cute (I mean how could it not be?!) and that I know that tomorrow will be the day I wake up and there's no nausea. Tomorrow. For sure it will be tomorrow.
posted @ 10:46 AM
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