Sad
The news, that most of you know about by now (and should become common knowledge by today or tomorrow), that I heard on Sunday has left a lingering sadness in my heart. I know there are reasons for the decisions that have been made. I have talked to the people making the decisions and I know they are at peace. I am still sad. As much as I have joked about things always being done a precise way, I was used to that and I had become good with that.To be welcomed when you first join a community is a good thing, and this person welcomed us with open arms. Was the first person to do so, and the reason, at first, we kept going back. To bring my dh into a world that he was stepping into tentatively was hard for me and for him, especially where we were in our marriage at that time. This person prayed for us, talked with me, helped us both through a pretty rough time even though he had only just met us.
Things change, life goes on and several years later, with small groups, children the same age, various admin tasks I do for church, handyman stuff dh does for the nursery, many other things and our lives often intersect. We consider them friends. To not have that presence there will change the face of our church, will change the way it operates. Change is not necessarily bad and only time will tell.
God will lead the way and I have also accepted that. That does not make me any less sad. I am an emotional person, have pretty much always been one but this last 18 months even more so (probably due to #3 but that's ok he's worth it). I'm not good at hiding the way I feel about things and perhaps even say the wrong thing at the wrong time, although I am trying to be better at this. I don't mean to. I just feel stuff very strongly. For those of you who aren't emotional, you might not understand.
I am emotional yet oddly practical. Life goes on. The changes in my own life in just a three year span are absolutely mind-boggling.
So now that I'm rambling I will end with this. I know this change will do some good for all involved but my heart still hurts and I think that's ok.
Labels: Life
posted @ 10:15 AM
Comments: 4
