Random thoughts
So I'd like to know how come we've been here almost two months now and we have just as many boxes unpacked as we did 6 weeks ago. I really don't understand it. Plus the fact that we haven't really needed anything that's in those boxes. Although I do admit to trying to find something and then finding it in a box and then that box finally gets unpacked. The problem is this: 3 kids 6 and under, it's summer, and basically there's so much other stuff that fills our time that by the time we could unpack it would be 11pm every night. Who wants to do it then? There is a box of our photos in frames that I would really like to unpack though as it doesn't seem quite right not to have my family surrounding me.I love photos. I love memories. I love being surrounded by those memories that show me truly how blessed I've been. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I think my life is hard. I know that in truth it is what I make it and I have it so much better than most. I am learning to not take anything for granted. I wish my hormones would catch up to the way I want to feel. I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy, the nursing or my age or what but my hormones are all over the place and it's very distracting. You see I have the best husband and kids in the world and I want them to know I know that but sometimes it seems like I'm just so cranky. I don't want to be and I don't mean to be. The good thing is usually 10 minutes later I'm not anymore so.... you see it's enough to drive you batty.
So I wrote my biology exam last Saturday and I'm pretty sure I didn't do very well. I did study and really tried to learn this stuff but for the first time in my life it was like my brain was not computing (well the first time I will admit that in any event!). I would read something and it would just not go in. You see this course was supposed to be done before Joshua was born but I was so sick in the pregnancy that I didn't even really start it until after he was born. Then I've crammed 8 months worth of work into 4. In any event normally I'm very good at retaining information and "seeing" pages of text in my head. It's what got me through high school and college when I was younger and spent more time having fun then "applying" myself. :-) However, at this point I was just too tired I guess. Anyway, I took the exam and wondered how come I'd never seen any of this information before and the diagram section I was sure was made up because I didn't recall seeing any of those before either. And those were my strong areas!! Turns out that they were in my text. Who knew?! I'll probably find out my results next week but I'm not sure I want to. I'm not so good with failure. I was upset with my A- in English Lit last year.
I really do expect an awful lot of myself. When people think I expect a lot of my children or husband they need to know that I expect way more of myself. I don't really know where I got that from. My mom isn't like that, maybe my Dad is a bit but not really. Maybe there was just so much turmoil in my life growing up that I figured I needed some measure of control. Who knows.
I saw the movie The Devil Wears Prada last night with a friend. It was a good movie, made me laugh but also feel sad at the same time. Talk about control issues! "That's all".
posted @ 9:16 AM
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