BE Yourself ....This is Part of Me

Wow - life

2009-09-30T10:23:00.007-07:00

Life is crazy, wonderful, up and down, spinning out of control and not moving at all.

There's so much going on with me, with my family, and yet it feels like nothing is going on sometimes. I seem to want to fill every opening and yet, also, would like to sit in a lounge chair doing nothing. Which isn't really possible.

I am thankful for friends who always make me smile, who fill me up, who understand me, even those who maybe who don't understand me, but who accept me anyway. I am grateful for a husband who is always, always by my side and on my side. Even when I'm wrong. Which, he will admit, isn't much. (*just kidding honey*) I am in awe of my children's hearts, their beauty and talent. While I may be strict, I recognise the goodness in their hearts and I am so appreciative.

I am blessed in so many ways.

Lately, I have two songs that have affected me immensely, so I wanted to share some lyrics. I have always listened to lyrics--the songs that touch me the most, really say something. It is more than a good beat, it is a message.

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart
And be amazed and be changed by a perfect God
(Perfect People by Natalie Grant)

AND

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
(Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns)

Revelation

2009-06-03T11:50:00.002-07:00

I heard this song this morning and it totally fits how I am feeling today.

Give me a Revelation
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying
To find my way
But I haven't got a clue

Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move?
Give me a Revelation
I've got nothing without You

Revelation Lyrics copyright Third Day

Photo Highlights

2009-06-01T12:30:00.014-07:00

Because I don't have as much time to blog anymore, I thought I'd give some highlights of the last few months in photos:
My big 7 year old girl blowing out the candles on the Tinkerbell cake I made her.
The Marvin the Martian cake I made for dh's birthday (he LOVES Marvin the Martian).

My gorgeous children dressed up for fancy day at school (the older two, #3 was just hangin' with Mommy.)
The Mickey Mouse cake I made for #3's 3rd birthday (yes, I was on a weird theme cake thing this year - it was kind of fun.)
My brother visiting his niece and nephews. We get to see him so rarely and they loved having him here.
The fantastic feast for a friend's birthday.#3 relaxing after a hard day.A visitor in our back yard.My two gorgeous boys.On a Mother's day cruise with my beautiful daughter.

My new haircut.

Doooonnnnuuuttttssssss

2009-04-14T17:35:00.003-07:00

The kids and I made these today. #2 cut the donut holes out. They are pretty small, LOL, and with the extra dough, #3 made donut holes (those three blobs in the top right hand corner). These are regular glaze on the side you can't see.

Good thing we went for a very long walk during the first rise. Pretty sure these aren't low cal! :-)

This

2009-04-02T08:16:00.006-07:00

These kids:

This man:
These people:

I love all of these

James 1.2-4

Thoughts

2009-03-31T17:26:00.002-07:00

This is who I am
Not always who you see
When you pull the knife
It plunges deep in me.

The scars never fade
To be bitter never mine
But now this bed has been made
I'm not sure I'm really fine.

Just because you are strong
Doesn't mean that I am weak
Every thing that I show
All the emotion that I leak.

You don't know my past
And I don't expect you to
But respect me for who I am
And all that I do.

I'm sorry that I'm not good
Enough for what you seem to need
I'm sorry that you can't see
The way I am able to love and lead.

If you don't want
What I have to give
It's not the end of the world
And I will surely live.

Hurt, I will go on and forgive
Even as anger recedes
Because that's is who I am
Even if it isn't who you see.

Mommy and Me (Interviewing the kids)

2009-03-08T14:13:00.001-07:00

I first read this on some friends' blogs and thought it was fun. I tried asking my 2 (almost 3) year old, but he didn't really give me much. Just kept answering Mickey Mouse or Hi-5. So then I thought I'd ask my older two children.

I first asked my 7 year old daughter and then my 9 year old son - separately. Her answers are on the left, his on the right.

1. WHAT IS SOMETHING MOM ALWAYS SAYS TO YOU?
To Listen/That you love me

2. WHAT MAKES MOM HAPPY?
Giving to others/Us listening to you

3. WHAT MAKES MOM SAD?
People who don’t listen to you/Not listening to you

4. HOW DOES YOUR MOM MAKE YOU LAUGH?
Silly faces/Funny jokes

5. WHAT WAS YOUR MOM LIKE AS A CHILD?
Nice/Barely ever got in trouble

6. HOW OLD IS YOUR MOM?
41/41

7. HOW TALL IS YOUR MOM?
Big/Five feet

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOM’S FAVORITE THING TO DO?
Read/Read

9. WHAT DOES YOUR MOM DO WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND?
Play with (#3 child)/Work on the computer

10. IF YOUR MOM BECOMES FAMOUS, WHAT WILL IT BE FOR?
Movies/Doing something really good

11. WHAT is YOUR MOM REALLY GOOD AT?
Reading/Reading

12. WHAT IS YOUR MOM NOT VERY GOOD AT?
Playing outside/I don’t know what you’re not good at

13. WHAT DOES YOUR MOM DO FOR HER JOB?
Work/Fix books on the computer

14. WHAT IS YOUR MOM’S FAVORITE FOOD?
Everything/Tacos

15. WHAT MAKES YOUR MOM PROUD OF YOU?
Listen/Clean up our rooms

16. IF YOUR MOM WERE A CARTOON CHARACTER, WHO WOULD SHE BE?
Bugs Bunny/Bugs Bunny (really? Interesting)

17. WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR MOM DO TOGETHER?
Go places/Spend time together

18. HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR MOM THE SAME?
We have the same colour hair (we don’t)/We like to play games

19. HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR MOM DIFFERENT?
We have different clothes/You have glasses and I don’t

20. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR MOM LOVES YOU?
You say nice things/You do nice stuff for us

21. WHERE IS YOUR MOM’S FAVORITE PLACE TO GO?
Cruise/Not McDonald’s

22. HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOUR MOM?
Up to Pluto and back/To another galaxy and back (this started when I read Guess How Much I Love You to my kids - "to the moon and back" and ever since they've had to take it farther!) :wub:

Crying Out

2009-02-04T12:09:00.003-08:00

Today I sit and look out at the beautiful sunshine and contemplate so much about my life. The last two days I've had nothing but time to do that, due to a little bump in my road of life.

The thing that I have focused a lot on is my family and my friends. And in my world my friends are my family, since most of my real family is not close enough for me to be with. The thing I realised is that I have felt very isolated for a long time. Weird, to be surrounded by people, yet be unsure where to turn.

Our pastor had a sermon this past weekend that really made me think about that. When you are feeling lonely you tend to isolate yourself and then the more you do it, the more you want to, until you are a prickly bush (or some kind of analogy like that). I do this. I am generally an outgoing person, but truly I could stay at home and hide behind my computer forever. I like home. However, I do force myself to contact my friends and go out, because I know I will have fun when I'm with them and I always do. Because I crave personal contact and really find myself energised after a night with good friends. My problem is that I feel like I'm always the one pursuing that and then I get cranky and think that if my friends are my friends then wouldn't they contact me if they wanted to spend time with me? Then I go around in circles.

But I do have friends who I know aren't the type to set things up, but are happy to go along if someone does. I understand that and it doesn't bother me (I'm speaking to a specific person here, who I don't want to think this is about her, because it's not). Because I am a setter upper (ha, good word) I'm happy to do that for friends who appreciate it. Over the last few years though, I found there were relationships where I was always the one doing that and the others didn't really care one way or the other. Why would I keep pursuing that?

Anyway, my little bump in the road has only brought further clarity. If you have friends (and family) that you love, won't you show them today? Because sometimes that's all you have. And if you truly love them show them by being the one to reach out and see if they want to go for coffee or a drink or a walk or whatever. If they have always been the one to take the lead and set things up, why don't you try it for a change? By that same token if you are the one always doing it and you have friends around you that don't bring you blessings and/or are constantly negative or bringing you down, maybe you should reevaluate. I'm not saying to cut people out of your life because they are going through a rough patch, but usually rough patches don't last for years on end. If you find they are only with you for what they can get out of you, or because you are the only one left who will listen to their problems or negativity, then maybe think and pray about that.

When times are bad people gather around and that's a very good thing. Just make sure you don't disappear when times are good, that you remember that just because everything is awesome right now that you should take that for granted. I've seen that lately, too. And, you know what? I get it. We all have busy lives and it's easy to think someone will be here forever and you can always hang out with them next week. Someone is always more fun and/or easier to be around, maybe someone else builds you up more or blows only sunshine around - it is harder to have that one friend who tells it like it is. For sure it is easier to have only the people that say you're awesome around. But really? How many people is that anyway? We are only as awesome as those around us. Who do you surround yourself with?

And lest anyone be looking for hidden meaning in this post. There is none. I've done my share of all of the things I'm trying to tell you (whoever the you are that read this post) not to do. But I plan on showing my friends how very much they mean to me. I try to do this regularly, but if I haven't lately then know it will happen soon.

God is great and he can do so very many things. But only you can show people that you love them, they can only know if you tell them. If you have an opportunity to go and laugh with your friends, then do it. Unlike your family they weren't pre-programmed to love you and you can hurt them enough to make them wonder if it's worth it.

Happy Birthday #2

2009-01-23T09:03:00.003-08:00

Where did my beautiful baby girl go?

Well, would you look at that... she's turned into a gorgeous 7 year old!

Happy Birthday!

Sometimes...

2009-01-09T10:14:00.003-08:00

life sucks. But in the past few days of crap, I look at this and I keep going.

BEFORE

AFTER(all spiked with gel the first day)

and au naturale:

2008

2009-01-01T19:37:00.015-08:00

Well just like last year there is too much stuff to remember from this year. The good, bad and the ugly. There was also the terrific. The last 1/2 of 2008 I was pretty much blog post bereft. There are a lot of reasons for that, none I really can or feel like sharing.

So, like last year, I will post some highlight photo moments of my year:

From my family to yours.... We wish you a blessed Happy New Year!

Um...

2008-11-09T16:07:00.003-08:00

So, yeah. I haven't had much to say lately. Which is odd for me! :-D

Basically, there is lots going on, we are always coming or going or doing and when I'm home I'm usually working on the jobs that pay me very little. That all leads to me not having time for my personal blogging.

Plus, really, it seems I don't have anything much to tell. It's all mundane stuff, just every day things that need to get done, that keep us busy.

However, I will post my latest Halloween photo of the kids, since I think I've done that every year and missed it this year.

6 Things

2008-10-14T09:57:00.003-07:00

I've been tagged by both R and Sara...

Here are the rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. List 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post

I moved out on my own when I was 17 (yes, I had graduated high school), and no, I don't recommend moving out that early.
My three children were born in three different hospitals and one was born in a different province. All were born early at 1, 3 and 6 weeks respectively.
Since dh and I have been married, we've moved eight times. You'd think we were in the army or something.
I am not a princess kind of a girl, except when it comes to travelling. I admit I like nice hotels & cruising waaaayyyyy more than I like camping. Although if I had a camper, or better yet an RV, I'd probably be fine. It's the tents and hard ground I have an issue with.
When I met dh I thought he was a nerd. Big hair, tie-dyed t-shirt, goofy... so not my type. He became a good friend though and somehow here we are.
I have a photographic memory. But often it's on stuff that I don't need to remember or that people don't want me to remember. Just know that if you ask me to do something some time in the future and then forget - I will still remember and wonder why you didn't follow through (but I will not ask you about it, because that would be rude LOL). I will remember something funny you told me five years ago and generally be able to say it back verbatim. However, I will not remember all of the things I am supposed to get at the grocery store and inevitably will forget to buy something important I need (like deodorant). As I said, it's selective (although very helpful when cramming for tests, as I can see pages from textbooks in my head).

I'm not sure who I can tag that hasn't already done this, so if you feel like doing it go ahead and tag yourself. :-D

Happy Anniversary!

2008-09-12T12:00:00.003-07:00

10 years ago today. Wow. 10 years! Where did that time go? It has flown by, even though there were times when it seemed so slow. 10 years, three kids, two cats (one still with us), two dogs (none with us), three goldfish (one gigantic one still with us) and 8 moves later. We've been busy. :-D

I am a very blessed woman to have the dh I have. I truly believe God made us for each other. And while our life isn't always sunshine and roses, it is always friendship and stability. Maybe, it sounds kind of boring, and sometimes it is, I guess. But, I prefer that to the roller coaster of high highs and low lows.

We have come such a long way and there is no one on earth who is a better friend to me. We have a lot of fun together, we pull through the mire together, we hold it all together for each other and our family. We love our friends and our simple life brings us joy, even through the struggles.

I can't wait to see what the next 5, 10, 20 years holds!

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Food of love

2008-08-26T08:25:00.005-07:00

I've not been a good blogger, but truthfully I am just too busy right now.

I have been trying out some new recipes lately. I didn't take a picture of the first one, which is Grilled Corn and Sausage Flatbread - which I made without sausage because I don't like sausage. Instead, along with the portobello and tomatoes, I used eggplant. Also, I made my own pizza dough rather than using storebought and used green chiles instead of jalapenos. In the yogurt sauce, I used garlic instead of scallions. Basically, I made minor changes, but the results were so yummy that it surprised me. These will likely become a new favourite. The kids weren't as enthused as dh and I, mostly about the mushroom and eggplant, but they liked the flatbread on its own.

On Sunday, we had a friend over and I tried another new recipe. I always browse SPUD to see what they have special on and sometimes I try new things. This time they had figs on special, so I thought I'd try them. I've never cooked with figs before but I found this recipe for Warm Black Mission Figs, Walnut Crunch and Blue Cheese Tartlets. Combining my love for several different things.They probably don't look as deliscious on this tray as they did in real life (you can click on the photo for a closer look), but let me tell you they were amazing. Really, they could be a new addiction and they weren't hard to make.

Here's the view of the whole dinner:

As you can see, there are no vegetables. I was going to do some, but by the time we got the kids down, everything else was ready to go and I had forgotten to put any veggies on. The consensus was we were going to eat a fairly unhealthy, but yummy dinner. This is grilled steak with sesame sauce (Sandi Richards Cooking for the Rushed Getting through the Summer) on fettucine. I decided that these tartlets were both good for an appetizer and as a dessert. And I was right. :-D

Forgot One

2008-07-20T12:30:00.003-07:00

I forgot the friend I married. And he truly is my best friend. I am a very lucky girl to have found such a wonderful man. After a lousy week dealing with inexcusable behaviour and complete jerks, my husband brought a smile to my face with these:

He doesn't bring me flowers for Valentine's Day, which I'm in complete agreement with, since they cost a small fortune at that time and I'd rather spend the money on other things. If he brings me flowers it is usually not at a specific time, but rather as a pick me up or just to say I love you. I don't get them a lot throughout the year (maybe twice, if that), but I'm good with that too. It makes it special to know he got them just because he was thinking about me at that moment rather than because society gave us a day that says he should give them to me.

These flowers are still looking pretty glorious on my mantel and they've helped me during a week where I was unsure of so many things in my life. Because I know there is one thing I don't need to be unsure of. Well, two really.

Friendships

2008-07-13T12:51:00.002-07:00

There are many kinds of friends in our lives. Some close, some casual, some that even when you only see them once a year you connect immediately. There are also some who are your friend to your face, but not when your back is turned. Or who suddenly seem like they were maybe never really your friend to begin with.

It's hard to be a good friend. I know I certainly could use help in that direction. I don't have enough time in my life for all the people I care about and sometimes that means people get left out. However, I do try to let them all know what they mean to me, if only by email or facebook or a quick note. I know I should call, but I'm not so good on the phone these days. Always someone needing something the minute I get on and I seem to do much better when I can write out what I mean.

I try every day to be the best I can be and to bring that to any interactions I have. Some days I fall way short of the mark. I am a flawed individual. That doesn't change my heart. I would never purposely hurt anyone, least of all my friends, but inadvertently I fear I may do that sometimes. My brand of sarcasm, for example, is lost on some who think I am being hurtful. I use that same sarcasm on myself so it's not meant to be a weapon. If I have ever hurt you using this I apologise.

I started thinking today about the people I call friend. Even in the past month I have been thinking about it and I realise I have stopped trying so hard to be whatever it is that some people need me to be in order to be my friend. I'm not cool, I'm not always fashionable, my house isn't always clean, I swear on occassion, I am at times insecure and others completely confident. I am who I am, and a lot of it is a big bundle of a variety of different things. Some people love that and others don't. I need to stop trying to please those who don't. I'm 40, although I do try to change myself for the better there are parts of me that just are. As I said, I am flawed.

If I count you as a friend then I will be there for you no matter what, whenever you need me,if it is within my power to help you I will. In any event, I won't talk to you in my home or out at dinner, then not give you the time of day when I run into you elsewhere. Nor will I give out light invitations to do stuff with me or my family and then completely forget about them. If I say you'll have to come over for a vanilla vodka mojito, I mean it. It may take some schedule coordination, but I will do it.

Bottom line is I'm begining to learn the difference between friend and casual acquaintance. I'm beginning to learn that I don't have to try so hard because then it's really all one-sided. Friendship isn't always easy, but it shouldn't always take so much effort. Hopefully that makes sense.

Lastly, to my friends who read this blog. I do love you. And I do appreciate you. You bless me with the gift of your time and friendship. And I am thankful for each of you.

On Being Mellow

2008-06-27T11:24:00.003-07:00

Most of you who know me know that "mellow" isn't a word often used to describe me. Or perhaps never would be more accurate.

Today my wonderful cousin called me and left me a voice mail with a clip from ONJ's "Have You Never Been Mellow" and told me that is the way I am supposed to start each day, or that it was my new ritual. It made me smile. A lot.

Growing up R and I were inseparable up at our cabin in Jasper and whenever our families got together, which was fairly often for a while. As far as cousins go we were pretty tight. We were the babies (well, I am the baby, but he was close enough - sorry R, just had to add that in) of the whole family and whatever we did, we did it together. Including almost crashing a golf cart at Galagher's Canyon. Might I add that my loving cousin jumped out of the cart HE was driving and left his baby cousin to fend for herself as the out-of-control cart zipped through the wet grass towards a tree. My short life passed before my eyes as I, too, bailed out of the cart. Sufficed to say I think I walked back to the clubhouse. I think R apologised once or maybe a hundred times, but I was still mad. I did forgive him shortly afterwards, he was hard to stay mad at.

Anyway, back in the day I loved Olivia Newton John. After I saw Grease, I loved her more. You may laugh and scoff, but let me tell you I wanted to be her when I grew up. To be so beautiful and talented. Sigh.

So here she is, singing "Have You never Been Mellow"... (the sync is off, but it's still cool)

R is hoping this form of therapy will help to lower my blood pressure. He might be right! :-D

The Good News and The Bad News

2008-06-19T18:32:00.002-07:00

The good news is I lost 5 pounds without even trying. The bad news is that it's likely because my body is fucked up.

Yep, I said a bad word. And I'm not going to take it back. I apologise to anyone who I may offend with it, but that's the only way to describe what's happening.

After a lovely morning laughing with a friend, I was feeling very tired. I've been very tired a lot lately, but you know we moved, I've not been sleeping well, we have a jam packed schedule, and we're just overall crazy. Still, I was feeling absolutely exhausted. So, after I put Josh down for his nap I lay down on the couch with Mckenna. Now that may not seem weird to some of you, but I am not a napper. I don't nap. Not really even when I was pregnant. I just have too much to do. But I did today, even though every five minutes Mckenna woke me up to "ask" me something, or tell me I was snoring. Ha. Whatever. I'm tired and stuffed up from allergies. What can I say?

Anyway, after I picked Aidan up from school I took my blood glucose reading. Oh yes, I've been doing that for about a week because I'm considered pre-diabetic and they wanted to monitor me. I'm eating the right things (mostly, yes, I do slip occassionaly), so I was thinking "piece of cake - they've got nothing on me". The first reading last week was 4.6 or something low. Excellent. But then over the past week it's been rising, until it hit 11.9 the other day. I started taking the test twice a day, one a fasting in the morning and one about 2-3 hours after lunch. Just wanting to make sure. The fasting ones were fairly high, but I was trying not to be worried. After all when I have them in the lab, I'm still borderline.

So I take the test after I pick up Aidan and it was higher than 11 again. 3 hours after lunch. It should less than 8 if you aren't diabetic, less than 10 if you are. Ahem. Add to that I felt like complete crap. My chest was tight and I felt very lightheaded. I called Steve to see where he was because I had an appointment at 4:30 for chiro and thought maybe I could zip in to the clinic and see someone first. Luckily he was in Maple Ridge and almost home (that never happens, normally he's stuck in traffic and running late) and thankfully there was no wait in the clinic.

The doctor was not a happy camper. My blood pressure was 180 over 120. Not good. Very bad. Maybe that's why I've been feeling like my body, head and eyes are going to explode lately. I am now on blood pressure medicine and medicine for diabetes control.

But hey - I lost 5 pounds!

Grown Up Home?

2008-06-11T12:45:00.008-07:00

Or getting there, anyway.

Here are some photos of my living room:
(ignore the tv show in the background, that's probably not very grown up! LOL)

And our bedroom:This was day two here so we still had stuff everywhere, but I hurriedly made the bed (as you can see by that one sad looking pillow) to take a photo. Chocolate brown and Ice Blue. Those colours will eventually carry on through the ensuite too.

To me, this is my grown-up stuff. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and usually had hand me down furniture or very inexpensive stuff. The couches are the first that we have bought as a couple, and are more my style than anything I or we have ever had. We've gone back to a queen size bed for a number of reasons: it was cheaper than buying a new king (our old one was having issues and the mattress looked like a wave) and you can always find more linens for a queen. Plus, our kids are older (ok, my youngest is 2, but it's old enough) and we no longer want/need little ones in bed with us (a convenience for sure when I was nursing).

This weekend I get a new bookshelf (new to me, but very nice purchase from a friend). I've been using a bookshelf that my dh built me out of scrap. It is very utilitarian looking, but served it's purpose. Now I want something that looks nicer and goes with my stuff.

I have plenty of ideas for this place, but first we have the basement to finish so my oldest can have his own room. He's being a trooper about sleeping on the floor of his sister's room, but I know he is excited to have his own space.

To Be or Not To Be

2008-06-03T09:39:00.004-07:00

I'm trying to decide whether or not to delete this blog. Lots of reasons, none of which I really care to get in to.

However, I've had a few people ask me if maybe they could be added, so I guess there are still people wandering by. That's nice and I appreciate it a lot. Now, if I could only think of something witty and fabulous to say.

See that's the problem, I'm not so witty and fabulous lately. I'm mostly just tired and cranky and trying to make all happy and funny. Because I am so blessed by so much and I know I should be grateful. And I am. But I'm really, really tired and sometimes I'm lonely. Silly, I know. To be surrounded by people, yet still lonely.

For 25+ years I had a good girl friend that I talked to daily, laughed over nonsensical stuff, could say nothing to and still get it, etc. and now we are just in different places in our lives and it doesn't work as well any more. I'm ok with that, to everything there is a season, but I miss it. Yes, my dh is my best friend and I can and do tell him everything, but it's just different with another woman. Those fit of giggles that you get and can't really explain and guys just look at you like you're nuts. I miss that. I miss wandering around and shopping, even though I'm not really a shopper (I'm more the get in and get out type of person), every once in a while I like to wander around and look at stuff with a friend and make funny comments. I went on a trip with a couple of friends a while back and it was like that and I realised how much I miss it.

On a daily basis it is me and my kids and then my dh in the evening. He works hard all day, I work in between carpooling the kids everywhere, we have the various kids activities and church activities and every once in a while we try to squeeze our friends in there. Because our friends are so important to us and we care about them a lot. It's important for us to have social time. Just adult time. It's important as couples and as individuals. And I need some one on one girl time to laugh and gigle and talk and not talk and you know...

So there you go, this is why I haven't been posting, because it sounds like one big whine. And my life deserves more than that and I know the people in it do. But when I write I want to say how I feel. And this is how I feel. And because I'm an emotional person that's what comes out. It's very odd to be both logical and emotional. My head tells me to suck it up and my heart just keeps feeling. What's up with that?

Countdown Starts

2008-05-21T15:09:00.002-07:00

One week today we are back in our own home. I cannot wait! I'm already excitedly making plans and imagining how I want it to look. Of course, a lot of it will come over time. First we have to finish the basement for #1 to have his own room, we'll have a rec room and a full bath, and either a music room or a craft room (we can't remember how big the room is at this point and are guesstimating based on old plans), plus storage. I've already put a deposit on carpet.

In the meantime, we have to pack. I hate packing. I love unpacking - the newness of where everything should go and starting fresh.

I'm excited about what this year will bring us for so many reasons. One of them is that September marks the 10th anniversary for dh and I. We celebrated early with a weekend cruise this past month. It was so great to just be us for a while, instead of Mom and Dad. We remembered how much fun we have together and all the things we like to do (dining out and trying new food has always been high on that list and where better than a cruise for that). We attended an Elton John tribute that was excellent and so much fun.

Anyway, 7 more sleeps until we get our place.

Funny Horoscope

2008-04-24T09:52:00.004-07:00

As a rule, I don't generally read horoscopes. It's not my gig. But a friend of mine posted on of hers from Free Will Astrology and it was hilarious, so I thought I'd check mine out.

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 24, 2008:

I've got three messages for you. They may seem unrelated, but by this time next week you will see that they are intimately interconnected. 1. Unless you were raised in the woods by badgers, it's a perfect moment to slip into your second childhood. 2. Unless you really can't stand having your mind changed, it's an excellent time to launch a daring project that would have seemed impossible to the person you were a year ago. 3. People unsympathetic to your cause may think you're in the throes of delusions of grandeur, but those of us who have faith in your untapped powers say they're not delusions but viable fantasies.

Wait, how do they know I was raised in the woods by badgers? And I love it when people think I have delusions of grandeur. 'Cause nothing says Stay-at-home-Mom than someone with grand delusions. Frankly, I'm daring every time I have to change #3's diaper. What more could I want? :-D

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-04-17T16:05:00.003-07:00

Not bad looking for 65! In fact, a pretty hot lady. Way to do, Mom! :-D

A Life Well Lived

2008-04-03T22:35:00.006-07:00

This week I journeyed to Alberta to say goodbye to my Uncle Bill. It was a bittersweet reunion between me and my cousins who I adore. What an awful way to ensure a family get together. However, there was laughter through the tears... of times remembered, of a man so loved, of a cottage full of family, of summers spent together.

In a fitting tribute to my Uncle, the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic sent a private jet full of their management to say goodbye. It was a very classy thing to do. We sang songs and told stories that made us weep. The pastor told us of my Uncle asking to hear about the Lord on Good Friday and how he accepted him into his heart. That filled my heart with gladness. The pastor talked about a life well lived and it is this statement that I clung too. For it was definitely a life well lived, and there were several hundred people there, including the mayor, the gentelmen from the Chrysler Classic and several dignitaries, and of course, so many family members that attested to it.

William (Bill) Goldsworthy
GOLDSWORTHY William Leroy Bill" Goldy" It is with great sadness we announce the passing of Bill Goldsworthy on Saturday, March 22, 2008 at the age of 66. Goldy was the epitome of a Golf Professional. He spent over 50 years in the golf industry, at the Jasper Park Lodge, Point Grey G&CC, Head Pro (in 1965 the youngest in Canada) at Cedar Hill Golf Club, then Gallagher's Canyon, Kelowna. Pro-Manager Hinton, Camrose and Lake Point Golf Clubs respectively. During his Cedar Hill days he proudly started PGA Tour player Jim Rutledge and Asian Tour player Rick Gibson off on their careers. As Co-Chair of the marshals, Bill dedicated 25 years of service to the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic. An ambassador to the game of golf, Bill was a lifetime member of the CPGA and served on the board of directors of the APGA. His favourite spot to be was at the cottage at Lake Edith, fishing and drinking Blue!

I've taken out the names of the family members that Uncle Bill left behind to protect both their privacy and ours (and yes I know, but I'm not going to make it easier). Sufficed to say there are many loving members of his family, who will go on to remember him.

A life well lived... A man well loved.

Rest in Peace, Uncle Bill

2008-03-22T22:25:00.003-07:00

I just received word that my Uncle has gone home to meet our Lord and Saviour. My mom made it in time to say goodbye and had an hour with him before he passed away.

Please continue to keep my family in your prayers.

Hey - did you happen to see...

2008-03-20T16:55:00.003-07:00

the man with the biggest smile and zest for life in the world. And if you did was he drinking a beer? The man who used to sing me this song, albeit with the right lyrics: Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?

That man would be my uncle and I just found out that he's very ill. In fact, I'm not sure if he'll make it through the next few days. Dh suggested I write about him and I scoffed at that, but then I thought yeah. Because my Uncle B was always my favourite. And yes, ok, you're not supposed to have favourites, but you know you do.

He's a big, big guy and when I was little I would dance on his feet to the song above and also to Kiss an Angel Good Morning. He's also my biggest reminder of my Papa. Because he's so very like him. And my Papa meant the world to me, even though I lost him when I was just heading in to my teens. I remember my Papa like it was yesterday and it was only in December that I last saw Uncle B.

He had lost weight and we all thought that was a good thing. As I said, he was a very big guy. Unfortunately, it turns out this weight loss was not for a good reason, and it appears he has cancer. And only just returning from Palm Springs, he left it far too long before seeing a doctor. Again, just like my Papa. Too much thinking that it'll get better and who needs a doctor. And now he has both a mysterious infection and pneumonia.

I only found this all out this last half hour. I was gaily trying to plan a games night with a bunch of friends. Now all I can think about is why is cancer such a brutal illness. Why is it so prevalent and when will we find a cure? Just a few short weeks ago my very good friend lost her mother to this illness. Several years ago two other friends both lost their fathers within months of each other, I believe.

When I am able to donate money to causes there are two I support without fail. Children's Hospital and The Cancer Society, generally breast cancer stuff, but any of them really. I even put together and edited a cookbook (Cooking to Cure Breast Cancer) filled with recipes donated by soapers around the world (if you are interested post a comment or email me and I will send you the link to buy it) - net proceeds go to the BC Cancer Agency. This disease needs to be stopped.

So I raise a toast to and say a prayer for my Uncle B.

"Hey, did you happen to see... And if you did was she crying? Crying?"

Happy Birthday and News

2008-03-17T19:07:00.005-07:00

OK - so I really am a bad blogger. I just have so much going on, but still have nothing interesting to say. Hmmm....

However, #3's second birthday came and went and he needs a little celebration. Last Friday (Mar 14th) my littlest guy turned 2! See how much he's changed...

Then:
And now:
Happy birthday, my wonderful little man. You are the surprise that has blessed us over and over (and I'm almost positive that I said the same thing last year, but I don't care, it's true!).

And to celebrate we bought a house! Yeah, we're just fun like that. Well, actually it's a townhouse, but it's all ours and it's as big as a house so it's all good. We are so excited to get away from the very bad influence we we live right now and to also be in our own home again. We will be on a cul-de-sac, backing on to greenspace. I can't wait.

123 Meme

2008-02-18T09:06:00.003-08:00

I was “tagged” in blog game. A friend of Magnificent M's, whose blog I read regularly (even if I don't always post anymore LOL), tagged me. Thanks Daryl! :-D

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (No cheating!)
Find Page 123
Find the first 5 sentences
Post the next 3 sentences
Tag 5 people

So, from the Thorazine Mirrorball by Jack Maeby, which happens to be the closest book to my elbow at the moment (although truthfully there is a pile, since #3 pulled a bunch out of the bookshelf)...

I played it again, altering the rythym slightly. Now I recognized it. The three notes were part of a phrase from the mystery song on Mrs. Worthy's tape, the one that seems so familiar.

I don't even know if five people read my blog anymore, so if you are one of those 5 go ahead and try this meme. It's fun!

Lotsa Happy

2008-02-13T20:01:00.005-08:00

Ten seconds away from the biggest surprise I have ever planned and it was blown. Not impressed with that at all, BUT, dh was very impressed. I'm still reaping the rewards of that night. Yep. Then I followed it up with a dinner and dessert of all of his favourites on the actual day. He's a very happy guy.

See...

Isn't he cute? We had a great weekend filled with a lot of busyness, friends and family. It was awesome. Worship was also great this weekend, at least for me, all of the services felt very powerful and full of energy. It was incredible.

Few and Far Between

2008-01-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I am swamped with real life right now, so not much time for blogging. Or Facebook. Or Scrabulous! :-(

BUT, I had a lovely, if busy, January. My dh and some wonderful friends held a surprise party for me for my birthday. Which surprised me since my birthday was in December. It was a truly fun evening and now I have new jammies and jeans (although the jeans may go back, because I think they are too big) - thank you again, everyone!

#2 turned 6 and had a Fairy party that was magical for the kids and a crock for me as the parent who paid $140 + tax for a few stories, some dancing, Kool-Aid and wafer cookies that cost 2 cents each at the bulk bin at Save-On. However, the kids really had fun and that IS what counts. Right? Right? Here is a photo...
There is even more stuff happening next month and some very big plans. Can't wait for that. I will share more then.

2007 in Review

2008-01-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

Nope - not gonna do it.

2007 came and went and lots of stuff happened and I can't remember most of it. All I know is I spent time with good friends, had some laughs, shed some tears and ran around like crazy. Mostly I know I was blessed. Here are a few highlights in photo form, though:

Bring it on, 2008!

13 Days of random

2007-12-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

In thirteen days I will be an age I didn't even see coming. An age I don't feel on most days, but an age I feel older than on others.

I likely don't act my age much and I'm not sure if that is good or bad or indifferent. What I wonder about is that I read that as women (and maybe men too I have no idea) age they gain more confidence. They care less about what others think. I seem to be the opposite.

When I was younger I was pretty confident. I knew the things I could do, the things I couldn't and was always willing to try something new. Then I spend eight years in a relationship with someone who did everything they could to knock me down a peg and somehow I never fully stood back upright.

Oh, I came out of it all ready to show the world and I think I did a good job of bluffing my way through a lot of stuff. But underneath I question everything and I hate it. I never used to do that. Fourteen years out of that relationship means that I can't blame it for the way I am now. I need to get over it and get on with it. And sometimes I do.

But sometimes... I just wonder where the light has gone. Where has my lightness gone? Yeah, sounds morose and self-pitying and I don't mean it to. I just really want to know. I want to be a good person and care about others and help others, but I also want to feel the same in return. Instead of overthinking.

It's like a mini movie reel going around and around in my head. Which is why I can't sleep. Which is why I take on more than I should. If I am just busy enough doing stuff then I don't have to think (well, hopefully you know what I mean).

Shocker of all shockers is that I'm not worried about turning 40. I could worry about something absolutely asinine for hours on end, but turning 40 doesn't phase me. Turning 30 was one of the best years of my life and I can only hope that turning 40 brings me another of those. Maybe it will bring me my confidence back. Maybe it will bring me my "I don't care this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it" back.

I back down when I don't feel like getting in to it. Except with my dh. My poor, wonderful dh. I know, I'm lucky. I'm not saying I want to start picking fights with people, but maybe I could have an opinion and not be scared to voice it for fear that people won't like me. I know a lot of really opinionated people and I like them - ok - I might not like all of them, but several of them are close friends (luv ya SC!)

Wow, I'm rambling. This really isn't about having an opinion. I do have those and maybe I will voice more and maybe not. I think I might still rather not get into it on some things. It's more about feeling good about who I am and what I do and knowing that my God knows me and knows my heart.

It's about letting go and just being me. At least I think it is. So as the days inch ever closer to another decade gone, maybe my mind will find some peace and maybe my heart will follow. And then maybe I will be able to sleep at night and do the things I need and want to do, to the best of my abilities and maybe... that will be enough.

No time, but...

2007-11-26T20:27:00.001-08:00

Lately I barely have a second to think. I have to keep going or I'll collapse. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." Most of it is really good, unfortunately it all ended up being due or happening all in the same week. All of it. And that's this week. I was pushing to get my other stuff done last week, but it didn't happen. I don't seem to have enough hours in the day and where I used to steal them at night I have a toddler who thinks that's play time.

Ha! For who?

I think once this molar comes in for him it will be over. I'm praying anyway.

BUT, I have a new gadget and I'm thrilled. Not sure it will help me get more done, but I'm willing to use it to try.

My new cell phone is an HTC Touch.
I love my new phone. It is taking some getting used to, but I can do so many things with this. I love it. Not sure it's right to be in love with a phone, but I am. I can even read my eBooks on it. Now instead of dragging around my cell phone and an old Palm Vx and reading on a weird gray/green background, I can have both phone and book reader in one thing - in colour! And backlit! And I got a great deal, they even threw in a free music box and bluetooth thing. And, and... well, you probably don't care - go check it out if you do.

Meantime, I'm not really blogging much. If you need me - phone my new cell. If you want that # call my house or email me.

Princess, Black Spiderman and Tigers...Oh My!

2007-11-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

And yes, I know he's Venom. He just doesn't like that because he says there are no teeth so it's not Venom (and mostly because he thinks it is less scary to be Black Spiderman.)

This was their haul. It doesn't look as big in the picture (maybe because it's all piled on top of each other), but there is a LOT of candy:

Soccer Stars and Sleepy boy

2007-10-02T12:47:00.001-07:00

Happy Anniversary Honey!

2007-09-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

To my honey...

Like it says in our rings
you are mine
Sometimes I have wondered
how we made it to nine.

We've had bumps and rolls
and crazy tail spins
We lost it for a while, but
now we take it all in.

I look forward and see your face
I look back and the pain is erased
You are my future
You are my friend
I look foward to walking with you
on and on, to the end.

Corny, but true. Thank you for all you do and everything you are, thank you for #1,#2 and #3. I love you.

Ponderings

2007-09-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

I think about a lot of stuff. That's part of who I am.

Last weekend's service message was about worry. That's something I have an issue with. I listened to the message, and I got it, but I'm still having trouble with it.

I'm not sure where I learned to be a worrier, but it seems it has always been a big part of me, and has only become worse, rather than better, with age. Even as a little girl I used to worry - I'd worry about my Mom when I flew off to be with my Dad during his time with us kids. He used to get upset because I'd practically leap on the plane to get home to my Mom. It wasn't that I didn't love him, just that I worried about my Mom and who would "protect" her if I wasn't there. I figured my Dad could handle himself.

I worry about my friends. I worry about people I don't even know, when I hear about disasters or see accidents. I worry about children. I especially worry about my children. I worry about my own insecurities.

Insecurities suck. How come those don't go away as you get older? How can I be so confident in some things and so not in others? How come even the things I'm confident in can be shaken with just one off word from someone? The worst thing is caring what someone thinks even when that someone isn't someone I care about. No, I'm not going to repeat that, but I know what I mean.

I say "yes" too easily to things, then feel bound by ropes I put around myself. I don't want to let people down, yet seem to let myself down all the time.

I'd hate to have on my grave, "She was a nice enough woman, always saying sorry, couldn't do much else 'cause all she did was worry". Ha!

I'm very luck to have my dh, because he's very good about being calm in the face of all of this worry. And sometimes, there is a brief break in the universe where he is worried and I'm not. I wonder what that's about?

PNE

2007-08-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

This is what it looks like when you go to the PNE and forget your camera:Your Spiderman looks more like Darth Mol, your princess has only half a face of makeup and your various paraphenalia and pop "bong" is all that is left of the day.

However, a good time was had by all. Although it certainly did not help us to overcome our various cold/flus. We felt great when we left for the PNE, but by 2 am this morning, the lack of any real nutritious food (I'm thinking garlic fries don't count! LOL), the long day walking in the sun and BAM, we are all down for the count again.

Oh well, it was our first time taking the kids and it was worth it to see the looks on the their faces. Perhaps next time we'll bring the camera and capture them in real time! :-)

Pirates a Plenty

2007-08-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

(This photo is from the first day, I think, before I got too pinked out! LOL)

It came and went. Summer Kids Club is over for another year. With over 500 kids it was the smallest one I've done but still, that's a lot of kids.

This year I was a pirate in the drama. In past years I have been a leader. This year I needed a break from that, being that I have been a youth leader and am heavily involved in other stuff. I needed a break from the constant diligence needed when leading a group of 15-20 kids. I have three of my own. I love them. But, I needed to not lead any this year. I think my sanity depended on it.

So, I got to be a pirate. A very pink pirate. I'd show photos but I'm not sure if there are any. Basically, I turned the Black Pearl, into the Dainty Pearl and then the Pretty Pearl. I hung pink sails, and draped Captain Paul in a pink feather boa. I also made him wear a tiara with pink furry stuff on it. The younger kids seemed to enjoy these antics a lot. They yelled out to me whenever I went by, and the girls tried to show me their sparklies or pink outfits. It was fun. Well, other than eating a salmon stuffed oreo that was a bit of a surprise gag on me.

I also helped out with setting up some outdoor games in between, but otherwise I just wandered around and talked to kids, and played my part to the hilt. I wasn't feeling the best so it was good that I didn't have to lead. I did get some grief about that on one day, but I figure I do a lot to help on an every day basis so I tried not to feel too bad.

It may not have been the toughest job, but I hope the kids learned something about where their treasure really is. Yoho matey's... Give and hold nothing back - the new pirate's code!

Watch out for those manholes

2007-08-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

So this is what it looks like (partially) when you pull a cartoon trick and fall in to a manhole:

OUCH!

Happy Birthday #1

2007-07-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

8 years today - Wow. You amaze me, your kind and generous nature, the way you are always polite, how smart you are, and even the way you bounce off the walls.

Hittin' the sauce

2007-07-25T19:53:00.001-07:00

Don't worry, it's only chocolate!

Before and After

2007-07-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

Because it's been a year and I haven't done this in a while, I thought I'd post My Virtual Model to show the (very slow) weight loss. I'm down a total of 20lbs and 10+" combined between waist and hips. Bootcamp starts again next week so hopefully it will keep moving in the right direction. That'd be down, in case you weren't sure! LOL

To the left is me a year ago.

To the right is me now (that's as close as I could get to the hair. LOL)

Frankly, I think both of these girls look better than me but I'm on my way...

Because Sara told me too

2007-07-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

I'm updating. But I really got nothin' to say. It's been a crazy week. We went and saw houses, quite a few. We picked a house, we placed an offer on house, we negotiated, the offer was accepted, then our financing fell through 45 minutes later. We are approved for 95% financing and we still have a week to remove subjects, but the likelihood of us coming up with *cough* a LOT of money in a week is unlikely. Our mortgage broker is trying though so you never know. It brought a lot of weird issues to the forefront for me about family though. I'm not going to go into them here bcause I'm trying to suck it up and move on. :-)

In other news I had a great time at Sara and Nate's last week for her spa party, and I think I even made a new friend. We had so much fun and I didn't get home until very late. There are all sorts of other things I could say about that night but one of my best memories is of Sara and Becka doubled over and howling at something I said. THe sad thing is I don't really remember what witty thing I was saying. I'm sure it was great though! :-) I do remember the word plump. And yes, I'm sure I was describing myself. Good times, good times. I'd share pictures but then I'd have to kill you. :-D

Days go by...

2007-07-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

and I never seem to catch up. But that's ok. It's summer (or it will be soon, I'm sure. I see you, Sun, desperately trying to poke out from behind those clouds. You can do it!) and days go by randomly and fast. Our oldest is still in school, unlike most of our friends kids but that's ok too. That was a choice we made and for us, a good one. He loves his school and so do we. What a difference a year makes.

And--because I've shown a lot of #2 and #3 lately (let's face it, I'm home with them all day so they get more photo ops!)--here's #1

Happy Canada Day!

The Graduate

2007-06-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

More photos...#2 graduated yesterday *sob*. It was only preschool but they made a big deal so there you go. Here she is:Now, she's all grown up. Well, not really. But she does have Kindergarten orientation tomorrow so that's exciting for her. Two kids in elementary and one to go. Only four more years. I think there will be only one year when they are all in the same school together.

A Week in Pictures

2007-06-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

Stars of the Future?

2007-06-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

Here are the costume photos of #1 & #2 (they are scans of polaroids), right after they were fitted for their costumes for Stargate Atlantis. Of course, they only did background work but if you happen to see them let me know. I think it is episode 410 they will be in.

#1 ended up with a cape too. He was pretty excited about that.

#1 was also in something called The 4400 the previous week. I had to Google that because I had no idea what it was about. Still don't really. Don't know what episode for that one.

The day after Stargate Atlantis #1 did some work on a movie (made for tv maybe?) called Empty Arms. Laura Leighton is in it. She is so sweet. I tried not to embarass myself but ended up doing so when I recalled (incorrectly) that her character on Melrose was the sister to Marcia Cross' character. She didn't correct me but I remembered later. She was so nice to #1. Apparently she has a 6 1/2 year old little boy. She was laughing because #1 was not impressed that the script said he was playing a 5 year old. "I am 7 1/2 you know." So everyone on the set knows. Anyway, that was a very long day but even though he didn't have any lines, he did adlib some (which will probably be cut) but what are you gonna do with you've got the star dude flying a little boy like an airplane. #1 "Whee, that was fun" and, in answer to the question about whether he was read (to go to bed) "I think so". Pretty sure he was just supposed to nod. Oh well, I didn't hear anyone correct him.

Happy Feet Part 2 - UPDATED

2007-05-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

The video - THis one should be better

Happy Feet

2007-05-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

In this spot will be a video of #3 walking across the kitchen all by himself. He did it! Of course, I didn't get it on video and then when I tried he wouldn't do it, just kept sitting down.

Anyway, he was so cute and so excited when he got to the other side and we were all clapping. So, watch this space and if I can catch it on video I will.

What do you do when...

2007-05-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

... you really don't know what to do anymore? Yeah, me neither.

I'm in a head space right now that isn't good. I hate it when that happens because then I way over think things. Right now part of me wants to make a decision that would change something fairly drastically for our family. Mind you, it's purely an emotional response but, really, what else is there? Oh, practicality. There is that. Rational thinking? There's that too.

You can only try so hard, for so long before you don't care any more. That's where I'm at right now. I hope I can turn it around because it is colouring everything I do. It's making everything feel flat.

I'm not really a flat person (in more ways than one!) I tend to be very passionate about everything. If you are in my life and I care about you, I would pretty much do anything for you if you need me to. My family (not the one I made after I got married but the one I was born in to) calls me "emotional". Yep, well, deal with it.

For a very long time I stuffed down those emotions. For eight years, I was in a relationship with someone who tried to ensure I only did or said or wore what he expected me too. You start not to recognise yourself. If you've never been there don't judge. You don't know. It's not as easy to walk away as you might think.

Much of who I became had to do with that relationship since it led me into what I would say are your formative years as an adult. The years you are trying to decide what to do and where you are going. A lot of my issues of control come from that.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. The point is that I am "emotional" and "passionate" and all of those things. But right now? I'm not. Does that even make sense?

I started this blog with no idea of who would be reading it. Now that I know some of the people who read it are people I see in "real" life it colours the things I write. I used to write, frankly and honestly, while still keeping anyone I was referring to anonymous. At least I tried to, just in case. Now when I feel stuff I hesitate before blogging. Whatever will you think of me if I write about x y or z? Will you think I'm a basket case? Maybe you already do. Do you think I'm a whiner and I should just suck it up? Maybe I should. But you know what? People should be allowed to feel what they feel without other people telling them that it's wrong.

I have another blogging friend that I don't know too well, but what I do know I like. I have met her in person (forgive me for using you as an example but it is a good one) - she's dynamic and fun. I have seen her make posts and then delete them. I don't know why but I'm guessing maybe the posts showed a side she didn't want others to see. However, for me they made her all the more real. Sometimes I think I am the only imperfect one that can't handle my kids, the house, the dh being away, sickness, working, trying to make something of myself. And sometimes I just feel really alone.

And, for the record, this post isn't designed to make anyone feel sorry for me. I am a very, incredibly lucky woman for the most part and I do know it. I have a wonderful dh, three healthy, kind children and a God who loves me no matter what (which really is a good thing). That is why I don't want to feel flat. That is why I wish I knew what to do when I don't know what to do. They deserve more. But I really feel that somehow I do too.

I miss fresh air

2007-05-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

and Starbucks :-( - it's now day 6 of the illness in our house and the third child went down today. I haven't been out of the house much since then ("then" being six days ago). I drove dd to school and picked her and ds up from school on Monday, dashed to the store Tuesday night to pick up medicine, picked ds up from school yesterday. There and back. No side trips.

No Starbucks lest someone get sick in the car, or worse, while we're waiting. Today a wonderful fellow blogger (thank you LMR) was kind enough to pick up children's tylenol for me (and some cute flowers - thanks again) as we ran out of that sometime in the middle of the night. The thought of dragging three sick kids in to the pharmacy did not thrill me. She was already going to the store so she offered.

So here I sit trying to eat my dinner and type my blog in peace. So far I've been interrupted twice in under five minutes. I have put them all to bed. Yes, it is early for one of them but this Mom is done. I made myself a nice salad and an interesting quesedilla with salmon and brie and sauted veggies. Could be weird but I needed to use up the salmon and the whole wheat tortillas so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm sure I'll like it. I like anything salmon and cheesy.

Then later I'm going to have a glass of my favourite shiraz cab. I tried a new one the other day and didn't like it. It was from South Africa and is called Kumala or something - I'd get up to go look but I don't want to. I don't want to move - ever. I'm that tired. Last time dh went to the Queen Charlottes the kids (we only had two at that point but I owned my own retail store and worked more than full-time) got the chicken pox. I'm starting to think there is a reason they get sick when he goes away. I'm just not sure if it is telling me he shouldn't go away or that I need to be stronger or what.

I still have to clean the kitchen, put away dishes, and do laundry. Plus, I have some work to do. Wow, this post is pretty whiny sounding. I think I'll stop and just continue to eat my salad and look forward to my wine (to go with my whine! LOL) and quesedilla.

Blogging, the bad blogger

2007-05-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

I used to blog regularly and then it slipped away as I also blog on my writing blog. And then I just didn't feel the need to blog here. My personal stuff seems inconsequential, too personal or just plain boring. Maybe all of them.

Sometimes I want to say stuff and I'm not sure how. Sometimes I think I should just blog daily like 4ever29 since this is the year that I should remain 4ver39. How scary is that? When did I get to be this age? Maybe that's why I'm so tired.

My friend R wrote on her last blog about intentional relationships - living intentionally. That's really important and I try to do that. I'm not sure I manage it but I try. Lately dh and I have looked at our schedules and at each other and wonder where the we went in all of that. Yes, we had our date night, scheduled, but it was starting to become a time to discuss the kids, the house, and everything but just enjoying being us and being out, either alone or with friends. There was no we, family, we. Every single night was booked, every day too. Trying to fit anything in to that time on impulse very rarely happened. We are now going to intentionally back ourselves out of some comittments we made. They were good comittments and they were meant to lead us to where we are now but where we are now is a new place.

We need to spend more time together as a family (not just doing chores, running errands or sitting around watching tv). We need to spend time with each of our children (especially the older two) individually.

We also want to start spending time with our friends. Here, there and everywhere (sorry Dr. Seuss jumped into my post).

Anyway, this is starting to ramble and I now have two sick kids to care for so off I go. Dh leaves tomorrow to work in the Queen Charlottes so it'd be great if I could get them both better asap. Think it'll happen?

Mother's Day Tea

2007-05-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

My last (and actually only) preschool mother's day tea with my daughter was today. Why they have it on the Wednesday when they are in school Friday I don't know but that's the way it is.

About two seconds after we settled down #2 dropped a strawberry on herself. Other than that it was just a beautiful afternoon and the kids worked hard at their presentation and special surprises. This is the first time ever that #2 hasn't told a secret. I can't even say what the secret surprise is because I believe 4ever29 still has that joy coming to her tomorrow morning and I wouldn't want to spoil it for N. Sufficed to say that I liked it. Not sure you can tell but she has a ponytail. Look how tall she is compared to some of the other girls (not counting the very tiny one on the end in teal leggings - she's a younger sibling).

This is her "boyfriend" J - too bad he barely talks to her.

Write On #3

2007-05-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

Well I fused together the two points of this post to make the title.

I attended the Write On Vancouver conference over the weekend and it was great. I learned a lot. Met both published and unpublished writers, pitched to an editor, talked to other editors and agents and just overall had a good time. It would have been better, however, if I hadn't chipped my tooth on Friday night, causing me to suck back Advil every 4 hours for the rest of the weekend. From looking at the tooth it appears that all I have left is the old amalgam filling, very little original tooth. I see a root canal in my future and I'm not thrilled about it. We don't have a dental plan, or a dentist for that matter, although we have had a good recommendation. Hopefully he will accept a payment plan. At the moment orajel, advil and listerine are my friends.

Back to the conference. I pitched to an editor and she requested the first three chapters of my romantic suspense so I am excited about that. Of course, I still have lots of work to do on it but she said I could take my time, she'd rather see it polished in a few months than thrown together tomorrow.

In other news #3 is off to an audition today for a toy commercial. He's napping now so hopefully he'll be his usual happy self when we get there. I also hope he doesn't make strange when they take him away from me. He's been passed around enough at church that hopefully it won't be a big deal.

My Honey is Home

2007-05-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

and I'm a happy girl!

Unlike D, I am used to my dh being gone for periods at a time but this is the first time since we had #3.

I am so proud of dh and I know he did a great job down in Alabama, along with the rest of the team. I hear they had a great time, along with a lot of hard work and bonded really well with each other.

What a wonderful experience for all of them and I know my dh has been wanting to do stuff like this for a long time. I'm sure we will do it again. Maybe next time I can go on a mission or maybe it will be him again - it's not our decision really.

In any event, he came home and he seems different somehow. He says he missed me and he thought about a lot of things while he was gone. Whatever it is/was I am very happy he came to the conclusions that he did. I already feel a difference in our marriage.

Can 9 days make a difference? They can to a woman in Alabama and they can to a woman here in Canada. And I believe they did.

Book Release

2007-04-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

My inspirational short story releases today. It is called Love's Blessings and you can find it at By Grace Publishing

Previous to this I have not promoted my writing here at all. I write mostly romance and for some reason felt the need to shy away from that. But you know what? It's what I write and I'm getting published and I'm happy about that. Everyone has pre-conceived ideas and, as such, that's why I was nervous to talk about it. I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy, whether on the screen or on the page. Suspense? I love it...add some romance I love it even more. Did I expect to write an inspirational story about a couple who love each other but have lost sight of what they're doing together? Nope. But it happens. It happens in real life all the time. The only thing is you don't often get Happily Ever Afters. In my stories/books you do. I can't plan life. Only God can do that. But in my writing I get to assume that only the very best will follow the end of the book. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The story that released today received its first review the other day and got 4.5 hearts out of 5. I was scared to even look at the review but it wasn't so bad. I know there can still be some bad ones but in the meantime I feel good that my first review for my first story was good. You can read all about this at my writing blog here. If you read this story you will see the ending is very similar to that of some people we all know. Strangely enough I wrote this story before I heard that news but nevertheless the similarities are there.

I intend to keep these two lives separate for the most part but since it is release day I thought I would let all of you know (all two of you that may still read this blog! LOL). I have another story under contract with Wild Rose Press. I don't have a release date for this one yet but I should find out soon.

I have a longer book under conditional contract (which means they want to seem some suggested changes before I get to actually sign on the dotted line) with another publisher. This publisher emailed me last night to see if I would want to be an editor with them so it looks like I'll have another hat to wear.

All of the above publishers are epublishers. Which is not to say they don't publish "real" books but that the books are available as ebooks. Ebooks are becoming very popular as people can read on their pda's, specialised ebook readers, laptops and more. I read a lot of books on my palm pilot. Yes, there is still nothing as wonderful as a good book in your hand but, as with music, there are always new formats and generally ebooks are cheaper. At $10+ for a new book that is something (and hey my short story is only $1.49 USD in ebook format!).

I am at a writing conference next weekend where I will pitch a romantic suspense to Harlequin. Yes, Harlequin. That's the next step for me because the most I've been able to write and finish is 40,000 words and I need at least 60,000 for them. Can I do it? I sure hope so. Would I like to be published with someone else in NYC. Of course, but I can't see that happening for a while. Writing 80,000+ words is very daunting and with three small kids, at least for me, I just don't seem to have the attention span or time. Some day, maybe. But for now I am happy to be doing what I'm doing. I won't get rich (heck I might not even be able to buy pizza) from my short stories but if people enjoy reading what I write then I am happy.

Welcome to Church

2007-04-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

and "Faith the size of a mustard seed."

Two of my favourite quotes from the weekend and, surprisingly, not both from the same event.

Lastly, I would like to wish safe travels to my special singing sister (sorry for the corn, I was going for alliteration) and her friend. Don't forget the first bottle is on me!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My

2007-04-17T23:21:00.000-07:00

Or was that dragons and wolves and God, Oh my? In my house one never knows. Last week was interesting. I won't get into the dragons, wolves and God thing on here. Sufficed to say that #1 had a tough week last week.

#2 started watching Wizard of Oz and loves it. She's watched it several times. It goes well with her new McDonald's toys, which are probably the reason she now wants to watch the movie. #1 will not watch it. I think the flying monkeys scare him (and really who can blame him for that) and he has a vivid enough imagination anyway.

I went to a hotel on Friday night. Just me, myself and I. Yep, I discovered that I apparently have no idea how to relax. By the time I figured it out it was time to come home. Too bad, the bed in that hotel was awesome. Maybe next time I will take a tranquilizer and actually sleep.

My husband was baptised on Sunday and that made me happy. He's a good man.

Sold another short story to a different epub. Am very happy with that. My inspirational short is due out a week Friday and I am also looking forward to that.

Life is all sorts of things right now. Good thing I like Lions and Tigers and Bears.

Then the whale blew up

2007-04-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

It doesn't look like much from this angle...

but I guess trying to move a large plastic whale around a hot fireplace isn't the best idea...

Can you see the hole? Yes, you see that entire area is now located here:
Not sure if you can see the black blob above that is melted on the fireplace but that's the corner of the whale's tail.

This is how our day started with #1 child crying about his whale blowing up. We ended it with him crying about not getting ice cream because he and his sister didn't clean the play room like they were asked. Apparently "getting distracted" is a good excuse and they really should have been allowed to have the ice cream even though it took over two hours to actually clean the room and it was dinner time by then. He then decided he was moving out. Unfortunately the intended runaway place (Nana's) was unavailable since there was no one to drive him and Nana was out anyway. When he offered the option that Mommy or Daddy could baby sit Nana laughed for a very long time. :-D

Teeth and Old Navy cutie

2007-04-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

#2 lost her very first tooth last week and she really lost it. She either swallowed it or it was stuck in an apple. Either way it was gone. Her big brother wrote her a note for the tooth fairy because she was worried she wouldn't get any money. The note was so cute and he also included a picture he drew of the tooth fairy and a picture he drew of #2's mouth with the tooth missing. I think he was trying to prove it was missing.

Before #3 was born last year some wonderful, fun friends gave us the cutest Old Navy outfit for him to wear. I've been waiting forever for it to fit him and it is still a bit large but I didn't care. I ripped the tags off and put it on him. Look how absolutely adorable he is in the outfit...

Ink Stains

2007-03-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

Especially when you suck it. Yeah, sucking ink is not usually a good idea. Of course babies don't know that so they do it anyway.

Talk about sucking...sigh...My back was turned for all of two seconds (max) yesterday and #3 got into my office garbage, grabbed the inkjet ink refill bottle and sucked on it. Somehow the lid cracked off and he was covered in black ink.

Normally he likes to get into my recycle bin and I let him play with the papers, that's what I thought he was doing as I stepped around my desk to see. Nope, he was in the garbage. I was like oh no, kleenex and what not, gross and leaped over to grab it away...and then he looked up. Covered in black ink around his mouth like something oozing...well oozing something. Oh, it reminded me of the the penguin from whichever Batman had Danny DeVito playing the penguin and he had that black stuff running down his face, only not as pretty! LOL

I should have taken a picture but all I could think of was to get him washed off as soon as possible. I wiped and rinsed and wiped and rinsed some more but his one hand was stained, as was his tongue. I managed to get a good bit of his face and lips clean. In the process of this I managed to get covered in ink. He was more mad that I took the ink away and was trying to get him clean.

I called Poison control and they assured me he would be fine, that it looked worse than it was and if I got the bulk of it washed off the stain would go away on its own. For having three kids that was my first call ever to poison control so I guess that's not too bad but sheesh. He obviously didn't swallow that much, if any at all, since his, er, movements were normal coloured.

All this happened right before I had to take #2 to preschool. It was lovely as #3 and I had matching blacky grey/green (it seemed to turn green as I scrubbed at it) hands.

Sing it!

2007-03-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

#1 son got to perform at The Act last night with Norman Foote. I had no idea who this guy was other than some children's performer that was singing with a choir back up.

#1 son had to be there at 6 to practice and get his bright, neon lime t-shirt to put on. The rest of us arrived at about 6:30 to stand in line and we had a friend's middle child join us as she and dd have lots of fun together and I thought she would enjoy it. We were delayed going in for a bit as I guess the choir was working on a couple of new songs that Norman through at them but then we were allowed in.

There were actually quite a lot of people. The Act holds about 500 I believe and the bottom part was pretty full. I'm sure the kids were thrilled to be able to sing to a "full house" (while technically not most of those kids wouldn't have any idea, they just saw a lot of people). We got seats right down front and I proceeded to try to take photos without flash since we weren't supposed to use it. So my photos are not great because I've used the photo software to lighten them up but you'll get the idea. DS is in the middle row, far left. He's good at snapping his fingers! LOL
#1 did a really good job, as did all of the kids. Norman worked very well with them and interacted with them a lot. He even talked about maybe using the choir for the Children's Festival so I'm not sure if that will be a go but I guess we'll find out.

Most fun parts of the night were: the pretend baby that pee'd all over Norman, the choir and then the audience; the diaper that he pulled out after pretending to change said baby, and threw at the choir and all the girls screamed; singing Old MacDonald as Bob Dylan (omg, this was hilarious!); singing Sound of Music songs as various characters including Mick Jagger doing "I am sixty going on seventy". There was something for everyone and it was all inclusive. I would recommend this show highly to anyone who has children.

Save Studio 60

2007-03-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

OK, I have never done this before because I don't usually care enough but I LOVE Studio 60 and am very unhappy that it has been taken off the air. Apparently it might be gone for good, no one seems to know.

If you love this show go to this petition and sign it!

Perhaps, the studio executives will take note. Maybe not but one can always hope! :-)

Bad Blogger

2007-03-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

I know I have been a neglectful blogger and I'm sorry. There was a while there that I felt my posts were all so depressing it ws better not to post. Since then life has been crazy busy with another round of illness for most of the family (dd was thankfully spared), a birthday for our youngest little man, a lot of unexpected work due to worship scheduling, and more. Our calendar was just very full.

I had to take a step back from bootcamp for a week because I was, and am, exhausted. I just didn't have the extra energy to expend and even though, this past weekend, I expended it doing something I love I now have a very weird voice that cracks and comes in and out and a chest cough that feels like I ran a million miles, as it really burns.

Now, although I have stated the above it is not to get anyone to feel sorry for me. I am in very good spirits despite this. I'm the only one who pushed myself to keep going seven days a week with all our duties and activities so I'm the only one to blame for being tired and getting a cold.

I have a full, rich life filled with people and activities I love (ok, well I don't love bootcamp exactly but I love what I hope it's doing for me! LOL). I'm a very lucky girl indeed.

Plus, I'm going on a cruise in September with my honey and a bunch of friends. Yeah, it's a long way away but I'm excited. Two days, count 'em, two days and two nights with my honey and no kids. That will be a first for us in almost eight years. We did get one night together last year but had the baby with us. The last time we had one night together without children was in September 2005 but even then I was pregnant so technically we still had a child with us! LOL

I'm going on a sea cruise, I'm going on a sea cruise....Sea cruise, baby, oh yeah... (ok, I can't remember the tune of that song I just know there is some corny song like that).

Happy Birthday Baby!

2007-03-14T00:11:00.001-07:00

You changed me profoundly and I love you more than you will ever know. You are the blessing we never knew we needed and fills all of our hearts with joy every day.

It's amazing the difference one year makes...

Happy Birthday Little Peanut!

Looking Forward

2007-03-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

There are several things I am looking forward to this year:

Cruising with my friends. Without my kids. It's a very good thing.
#2 starts Kindergarten. That means 2.5 hrs EVERY day with just me and #3. Not that I don't love the other two. I do but maybe he will nap. Maybe there will be silence. Ahhhh, can you hear it? Yes, I will probably cry because it's gone so fast but still I will enjoy it too.
Spending more time with new and old (not necessarily in years but that too - LOL) friends.
Getting more physically fit. I have committed to doing a year of bootcamp. Not sure what I was thinking but I did it so...
Seeing my inspirational short published. I even have a cover now even though it isn't out until April. It's an ebook but that's ok (although I think if it sells a certain number of copies it will go to print, although I'm not sure about that either since it's so short but now I'm just babbling so I will move on. Sorry, I'm excited).
Celebrating the birth of #3. That's very soon. He'll be one. Where did the last year go?
Starting the Girls for God ministry with the high school girls I lead at my youth group. We are starting with a pajama party and that will be fun.
Watching my dh be baptised.
Buying smaller clothes (hopefully).
Watching #1 sing with Norman Foote at the ACT (if you are interested, and I KNOW you are, it is Wed, Mar 21st and you can buy tickets at the ACT).
Watching #2 dance at the ACT (date TBA).

Are you talking to me?

2007-02-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

Hmm, maybe not.

Sorry.

OK, movin on (I really need some emoticons here) - Bootcamp update for those who are interested (and frankly if you're not then I apologise in advance 'cause you're getting one anyway).

It's still hard.
In fact, sometimes I think it is harder.
Maybe that's because she changes things up so it's always new and different.
I find new and different sore body parts the next day, which is always a treat.
My tailbone still hasn't healed and that's a pain in the butt (sorry but it is!) when I'm trying to do certain exercises.
I have lost another 1/2 inch off my waist and .3 off my hips, which is great.
My weight has stayed the same, which sucks.
I can do 23 girl-style pushups in one minute. At the end of the program (I'm on the second round of bootcamp and this time going for six weeks) I hope to do at least 30 (but I really want to do 50).
My cardio is getting a bit better and I can almost skip rope for the whole minute (barring the times I catch the skip rope in my legs and stall out - LOL), without wanting to have a heart-attack. That's a good thing!
I am still motivated to go to this class. Even when I don't want to go, I still make myself and that's a very good thing! :-)

Fixin Dinner, Missions and other stuff

2007-02-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

OK R (3 kids lots of fun) has already mentioned this cookbook but I need to reiterate that it is fantastic. The Dinner Fix by Sand Richard is a great cookbook. I love the grocery lists and that everything is so easy to make. My kids have liked most everything so far, although some are clearly better than others, which is normal.

Last night I made the oh so simple Tuna Tetrazzini with Peas and Corn and my family gobbled it up. Dh thought it was delicious. I figured it would be ok but nothing spectacular since there really wasn't much too it. It was good. Really good. #3 loved it also and it was an easy big food transition for him since it was soft.

In other areas things for us are going better for us this past week. I am thankful. The stress was really starting to crack me up (and I don't have far to go! LOL).

Also, Dh is planning on going on the last Katrina mission trip in April. He wanted to go on the other two but as he is the self-employed, and the sole breadwinner for this family at present, it just wasn't possible. This time he has committed to going and is working to raise the required finances. If anyone who reads this blog is able to assist in this area and wants to receive a tax-deductible charity receipt you can contact the church office and donate to Burnett Fellowship with dh's name and Katrina Mission in the memo field. If you need more information than that (ie church address/phone, dh full name, etc.) leave a comment here with your email address and I will get in touch with you. We mostly ask that you say prayers towards this mission for all who are involved.

Movin' and a shakin'

2007-02-18T15:52:00.000-08:00

This is # 3 - watch him go...

This is not a walker he's in. It is supposed to be a stationary "exersaucer" type of a deal.

Prayers please

2007-02-15T17:43:00.000-08:00

If any of you who read this blog feel inclined to say some prayers for my family, I would sure appreciate it. There is just some stuff coming down on Steve and I in the past week and it hit really hard today. I posted yesterday trying to make light of some of the more stupid things that have happened to just me but with more stuff today I feel there is something else at work here.

None of the things that are going on are horrendous on their own but added up they have given us quite a burden. It's interesting to note that a lot of this came on the heels of a strong decision that dh made to get baptised and set a time frame for it.

Thank you in advance.

I saw the signs

2007-02-14T09:54:00.000-08:00

1. I had a resistance band snap back and bruise both hands. They've now healed mostly but my left forefinger has quite the lump.

2. I fell bruising and skinning my knee, getting rug burn on my hand and bruising another part of my body that obviously hit the ground first and that should not ever get bruised. I did this at a youth event. There's nothing like falling in front of teenagers.

3. Something that we were waiting on did not arrive leaving us in a bit of a predictament and forcing me to have to ask a favour of someone in order to finish something for someone else.

4. I got sick.

5. I had a disagreement with dh because we were both stressed out about #3.

6. A surprise I planned didn't turn out to be very surprising.

7. There was a weird thing with a friend.

8. I fell again. This time in the grocery store. I landed on my knees and pain shot up my back. I couldn't get up. I think falling in public is more embarassing than doing it in front of teenagers you know. Maybe not.

9. I haven't been able to sleep for several nights. Most of the above things swirl around my head with the addition of a few others.

What does it all mean? Just a few bad things in a small space of time. Not a big deal but sometimes I wonder why. I guess it all comes back to that faith thing. Every time I get going strong something comes back and knocks me down a few pegs. It's interesting. That's all.

This bites

2007-02-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

...and bites hard. I've got a mark to prove it. No, no, no baby - we do not need to show seven sharp little teeth to Mommy that way. Just smile baby!

Shhhhh - did you hear that?

2007-02-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

They're all asleep. All of them! Shhh - DON'T wake them up! Frankly, I'm scared to move.

Be vewy, vewy quiet.....

Not ready yet

2007-02-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

After a very busy weekend we find ourselves with two sick boys. #1 has tonsillitis but is well enough to go to school (doctors words not just mine). He's on antibiotics and other than having trouble eating and swallowing he's fine. His throat looks disgusting though. Blech.

#3 woke up Sunday night/Monday morning at 2am with a nasty fever of 102.5, he was all dry and felt like a sauna. Poor little guy.

I finally got the fever down by lunch, just in time to drop #2 off at preschool and head to the clinic with him where I was told there was over an hour to wait. Since I couldn't do that because I had to pick up #1 I tried a different clinic on the way. Another wait, but not as long, so we sat. We were joined by another Mom we know who had also gone to another clinic (albeit a different one than I had originally gone to) where the wait was an hour and a half. By the time the doctor saw us, #3's fever was gone thanks to baby tylenol and he was pronounced fine, but that he had a viral thing (same thing my other Mom friend was told about her dd who also had a 103 temp). I got out of there just in time to go wait for #1 who had managed to get in trouble (apparently you are not supposed to wander the halls looking a pictures when you say you are going to the washroom and never come back) so was actually late getting out of class. Which, in turn, almost made us late picking up #3 from her school on the other side of town. What fun.

Through all of that #3 still had not slept (and only had fitfully the night before) so, of course, he promptly fell asleep right as we pulled in at home and then woke up five minutes later thinking he was done. He was cranky and out of sorts but would not sleep. He wouldn't nurse either. In fact, he had refused to do so since the morning. And when I say refuse, I mean absolutely freak out about it. He was taking a bottle but normally he is quite happy to do either or both.

By this morning he still refused to nurse. He normally nurses sometime between 9 and 11pm and then again anywhere between 5 & 7 am. Nope. I think I started crying in frustration at some point. And disappointment. I'm not ready to wean him yet. Especially when he is sick. Especially since he's my last baby. I'm not ready.

I was thinking the next month or two. You might think, what's the big deal if you were going to do it in a month or two anyway but all I can say is he's my last baby. With #1 and #2, who were weaned at 8 and 10 months respectively, it was about need and going back to work and frankly just being done. It is different this time. That's all. And to me he's still so little.

After doing some research on the internet I have decided it might be a nursing strike (hey we've had a few of those in BC! LOL) so I've adopted some of the suggestions and we will see how it goes.

Party on Greg

2007-02-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

Just like the number of parties that he has attended, I'm sure we have now covered the worship one in blogging at least that many times. While I had an interesting week and was busy right up until the second I had to be at the party it came off beautifully. Thanks in large part to M's fabulous hostessing skills and beautiful house, and R's fantastic cake. I appreciate your help, and each of you, immensely.

Some photo highlights of the night:

The food - the table was packed.
The people.

The cake - what's left of it.
The drive home.
Oh, I forgot about the nuts.

On the lighter side

2007-02-02T08:22:00.000-08:00

Dh and I had date night on Tuesday and we went to see a movie. I let him choose because I'm just nice that way. Not wanting to see Catch & Release, and labelling it a chick flick, he decided our other choices were In Pursuit of Happyness and Epic Movie. We both want to see In Pursuit of Happyness but being that my frame of mind was pretty crappy earlier this week dh decided I needed to laugh. Therefore he chose Epic Movie.

Did I laugh? Well, if you consider I laughed at how truly bad the movie was then maybe. Did I laugh at the actual jokes and stuff in the movie designed to make me laugh? Maybe once. The movie was really, really bad.

The best part of the movie was coming out and running in to two pastors from our church and then telling them what we saw. Yeah, we're cool. They were there to see pay-per-view hockey. I think dh was wishing he was with them instead of me. Hey, I was wishing I was with them! The second best part was seeing one of the youth students from Thrive at the same movie as us. Maybe he really does think we're cool.

I don't know. I just know that it was a waste of money. At least I got popcorn and a free refill. That was yummy.

Faith

2007-01-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

First I'd like to thank everyone that contacted me on post or via email. I am much better today and I appreciate your thoughts. I don't stay mad for long, hurt maybe, angry no.

Anyway, some of the stuff that's going on with me lately involves having faith. Trusting that I am headed in the direction that I'm meant to or that things will work out and be ok. That's not easy for me. I tend to be controlling (I know, you all are shocked!) and I know that I need to not be. I'm trying. Faith is a big part of that.

There was a time when I stepped completely away from my faith and I almost didn't find my way back. There was a time when I saw much of my life in black. It is not that way anymore but I still struggle. I still worry, a lot. Not necessarily just about myself or my family, although that is certainly the biggest part, but others as well. I need to have more faith. I need to worry less. For a lot of reasons.

There are days when I struggle more (like yesterday) and those days I need to have more faith. I know it. Sometimes I'm just not sure how to go about it.

To that end I'm asking all you bloggers/lurkers a question, actually two:
1. What do you do to keep faith or when you feel like it's wavering?
2. Is there particular scripture that helps you with your faith?

If you'd like to share with me, especially the scripture, I would appreciate it as I journey on my way to become more faithfilled and more trusting.

Annoyed

2007-01-29T11:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am. I will get over it but right now I'm annoyed. If you are someone's friend then be their friend, otherwise don't pretend you are. I'm just saying. OK, now I'm just ticked off.

What's worse is that when you work your butt off trying to be everything to everyone, you don't even get the advantage of having a skinnier butt.

15 Things I learned (or possibly re-learned) this week

2007-01-26T10:44:00.000-08:00

It's fun to go out with friends, with no kids around to distract you.
Waiting for food and/or service, even with fun friends, sucks.
When waiting for said food or service, I get easily distracted because I am so impatient that I can't concentrate on anything other than the fact that I am waiting and should not be.
Good food rocks!
Sometimes boys you thought were really nice, sweet boys have a side you didn't expect to see and it makes you laugh so hard you are almost crying.
When you don't drink very often a couple of glasses of wine make you silly.
Trying to let your baby cry it out for his nap in his crib because he's really tired doesn't work so well when he has soiled himself and you don't realise it.
Our babysitter is amazing and we love her.
I miss my husband when we don't spend alone time together even though we're in the same house at the same time.
I used to be a workaholic and still have those tendencies when other things are more important.
I've got good kids.
When I get something stuck in my head it is really hard to get it out even when I know I need to move on.
I love singing with my kids.
I kind of sort of like bootcamp (sshhh, don't tell my body cause it still hurts).
I have a good life and I'm very blessed.

5 Years ago today a princess was born

2007-01-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

Time really flies. Five years ago I awoke thinking I had wet the bed (sorry to any men reading this but if you have kids you get it), since that's not something I do I realised my water had broken. Thankfully my dh was only just leaving - if he was gone it would be a while before he got back since at that time we were living in Calgary and he took the bus to work (we only had one vehicle). It was three weeks early but no surprise and we packed #1 off to daycare and headed to Peter Lougheed Hospital where my OB was just leaving and was surprised to see us. Five and a half hours later my princess arrived. It had been a long couple of years, we had lost a couple of babies and I've never been so thankful in my life as when I saw her. I never knew that I could love another being as much as I loved #1 but yet my heart opened that much wider and I did. You may hear the same story in March when #3 turns 1 so get used to it!LOL).

2002 (approx 9 months old with her big brother)

2003 (approx 19 months old)

2004 (28 months)

2005 - 3 1/2 yrs
2006 - 4 1/2 years
2007 - 5 years (at her very first birthday party, on the right in case you were confused LOL)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRINCESS!

edited to add above photo of #2 in present Grandma sent today(appropriate I think!)

Let me out

2007-01-19T09:59:00.000-08:00

I need a break.

I got a call on Tuesday from school telling me #1 had thrown up all over himself and his desk and could I come get him. Wonder what they would have done if I said "No thank you." Ha. OK, yes, I felt bad for him. Poor little guy. He came home and didn't move off the couch and if you know my #1 child you'll know that is unusual. I even got him to take a nap. A NAP!

On Wednesday I thought he was better but I kept him home anyway, just to be sure. Oy (no, I'm not Jewish but that two letter sound completely works in this situation). I get #2 to preschool and decide we must go grocery shopping (which we didn't do on Tuesday because #1 was sick) or there wouldn't be a lot of dinner options. In addition, I needed to get party goodies and organise #2's party for Sunday. I spent a lot of time at the store reminding #1 that Christmas was just here, it was #2's birthday and to stay with me. Thankfully #3 fell asleep so that was something. By the time I got out of the store my nerves were almost shot. And, oh look, preschool was almost over and it was already time to pick up #2.

On Thursday the plan was to send #1 to school, he had been perfectly fine all day Wednesday. That is until I heard that wonderful sound (at 5:30am no less) that means we need to get a bucket (sorry). Great, another day home with all three (believe me when I tell you that I adore my children but they are very high needs in different ways so school is a good thing). And Thursday is my nice pj day since #1 normally has choir on Thursday and #2 doesn't have preschool so I don't have to go anywhere until 3. It is a nice thing. On Thursday night dh is a youth leader so he's not home and #2 chose yesterday to cry at every small infraction and sometimes at nothing. #3 is also cranky, I'm not sure whether due to teething or something else.

By the time dh got home last night I was craving me time. I don't even know what me time is anymore. Is it bootcamp? Well, not really, because while I'm doing that for myself and my health it is not necessarily something I love to do. I was needing a "Calgon take me away" moment. Unfortunately, while we have three bathrooms in the house only one of them has a bathtub and since #1 had just had a bath before bed it was full of toys. It defeats the purpose if you have to clean it before getting in.

So, I'm still waiting for my Calgon moment. I suspect I won't get it for a while. As usual we are very busy and dh has been working very hard the last few weeks and is very busy at work. I'm thinking a trip to a spa is in order very soon. Luckily my dh is also wonderful that way and I know he'll want to buy me that for Valentine's Day (once I suggest it to him! LOL).

Sad

2007-01-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

The news, that most of you know about by now (and should become common knowledge by today or tomorrow), that I heard on Sunday has left a lingering sadness in my heart. I know there are reasons for the decisions that have been made. I have talked to the people making the decisions and I know they are at peace. I am still sad. As much as I have joked about things always being done a precise way, I was used to that and I had become good with that.

To be welcomed when you first join a community is a good thing, and this person welcomed us with open arms. Was the first person to do so, and the reason, at first, we kept going back. To bring my dh into a world that he was stepping into tentatively was hard for me and for him, especially where we were in our marriage at that time. This person prayed for us, talked with me, helped us both through a pretty rough time even though he had only just met us.

Things change, life goes on and several years later, with small groups, children the same age, various admin tasks I do for church, handyman stuff dh does for the nursery, many other things and our lives often intersect. We consider them friends. To not have that presence there will change the face of our church, will change the way it operates. Change is not necessarily bad and only time will tell.

God will lead the way and I have also accepted that. That does not make me any less sad. I am an emotional person, have pretty much always been one but this last 18 months even more so (probably due to #3 but that's ok he's worth it). I'm not good at hiding the way I feel about things and perhaps even say the wrong thing at the wrong time, although I am trying to be better at this. I don't mean to. I just feel stuff very strongly. For those of you who aren't emotional, you might not understand.

I am emotional yet oddly practical. Life goes on. The changes in my own life in just a three year span are absolutely mind-boggling.

So now that I'm rambling I will end with this. I know this change will do some good for all involved but my heart still hurts and I think that's ok.

Driving in the Snow

2007-01-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

I actually like snow, especially white, pretty snow like we have just received (again - sheesh, is this Vancouver??). Unfortunately, most people here don't know how to drive in snow and they are absolutely nutso. Nutso I tell you.

I had to go out on Wednesday morning as I had an appointment that could not be missed, so I bundled up #2 and 3 (#1 was safely esconced at school) and off we went. I gave myself plenty of time to allow for the weather (which at that point was snowing steadily). Apparently other people did not. We first slow down and then stop behind a police car and I can see a tow truck with lights flashing but no accident or anything else. All of a sudden I realise there is a car being pulled up from a ditch. Nice. I sit and wait patiently (oddly enough not one of my strong suits). Cars behind me are manouvering to turn around and go another way.

Finally we move on and start rolling. A four by four blows by me, passing without a lot of time to spare with oncoming traffic and practical white-out conditions. Yes, I held my breath. I thankfully made it to my destination safe and sound.

On the return trip I ended up behind one of those road scraper dudes and another truck laying dirt down. It was slow going. Very slow going. Once again, I was patient (geez where is this patience when my daughter is driving me batty? LOL). They turned up a side road and I continued on. Once again a four wheel drive passes me (I am not driving slow, I think I am actually doing the posted limit, which is good considering the conditions). I shake my head. What an idiot. Shortly afterwards we are behind Brookfield Farm and what do I see but a 4 wheel drive stuck nose down in the property. FarmMom, if you are reading this - did you guys see that truck or was it pulled out before you got back there?

Then I saw someone swerving around the corner by the dykes and barely make it without ending up in the same ditch that the car was dragged out of earlier and as he goes by me he's smoking! Yeah, cause it's always good to drive that fast around that corner with only one hand on the wheel in these conditions. Wonder why he didn't have control of his vehicle? Hmmm.

Moral of the story - just because you have a 4-wheel drive does not mean you can drive like a maniac in crappy conditions and survive. You are putting yourself and others at risk. Sheesh, use some brains. 4-wheel drive is not some magic conditions that puts a wall of safety around you. And lastly, use two hands and slow down.

OK, I feel better now. Rant over.

Bootcamp

2007-01-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

Yep, I did it. I joined a fitness bootcamp. Last night was the first night and it was wet and cold. Did I think about not going because it was raining and I had friends coming over for dinner at 7:30 when bootcamp started at 6? Yes. How many times did I think I wouldn't go? A lot.

All through prepping dinner, so I could just pop it in when I got home and take a shower, I thought how much easier it would be if I just stayed home. I had so much to do. It was pouring rain. It would be super tight to get it organised before our friends arrived. Lots of reasons.

Did I go? Yes, I did. I think I went because I'm finally doing this for me. As much as I didn't want to go I did want to go because I want results this year. Because I want to get fit. Because I want energy to keep up with my kids, because I want to feel good.

Was it hard? Yeah, it pretty much kicked my butt. I was wetter than I've ever been with clothes on. I could wring out my mittens. I did ok at the strength training but the cardio just about killed me. We did sprinting, short and long. We did weights and push ups (hah - not going to happen my friend!). We did squats and some kind of iron seat thing against a wall and squeezing in your legs and let me tell you how that burned. We ran laps. Well I say "we" but technically I jogged a 1/4 lap and speed walked the rest.

I was happy to know that I wasn't last. It wasn't a competition by any means but you know there is the front of the group and the middle and the back. I was in the back but I wasn't at the end. Small victories I guess. We did step-ups, more strength training against the wall, lunges, and all sorts of things that were supposed to be stretches that felt more like torture. I'm not very good at stretching. We did a lot of stuff that I can't remember.

I left 15 minutes early (the class ends at 7:15) so I could come back to finish the dinner. I came home soaked the bone but felt great. I felt great!! Even after my shower I was still cold but wed had guests for dinner so there was no time to think about it. Which was probably good. Good wine, good food, good conversation probably helped to distract me from the pain I was only just starting to feel. It was a great night.

This morning, I'm not sure anything can distract me. I hurt in places I didn't know I had. Just standing up from sitting, ouch. Going up our stairs, which are quite steep imo, brutal. My back shoulder blades ache. THe only thing that doesn't hurt is my stomach and I think that's only because I didn't do the crunches right.

Next bootcamp is tomorrow. I hope that I can recover to get back there.

2006 Where did you go?

2007-01-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

2006 seemed to come and go in the blink of an eye. There was so much crammed in to last year that I'm sure I won't remember it all and most of it was very, very good.

I started off the year being very pregnant and sick. Spending 5 days in the hospital with premature labour at 28 weeks was not my idea of fun. Nothing was fun at that point, although I did try.

This all came to a head in March when #3 was brought into this world and was so beautiful and perfect. He became, and is, my little peanut. A little guy who brought us so much more than we could have thought possible (as all children do). One of the things that he brought us was a friendship that was really kicked off in our hospital room and has now grown to include her as a regular part of our family life. I'm now wondering if a long, holiday weekend would be complete without a visit from her and her cupcake man.

Another friend of ours blessed us by coming to take care of dh, #1 and #2 while #3 and I were in the hospital and showed us what a giving heart truly is all about. She visited us again at Christmas and we were very thankful to have her here.

We came home. When I say that I mean back to this town which means so much to us. The year of commuting at least 40 minutes each way to Church every Sunday and feeling so isolated showed us where we belong. So, we came home. It was the best decision ever and it brought even more friends into our life.

#1 took his first ever unaccompanied plane trip to visit MIL in Kelowna. He did a great job, it was me who was left sobbing in the terminal at YVR. He was gone four nights and apparently it was one too many as on the last night he begged me to come get him. He thought I could just get the plane to take him then and didn't understand about the scheduling. He did very well though up until that time and 1/2 hour later apparently he was fine. It was heartbreaking for me to have him crying for me on the phone. #1 is normally a very independent boy. It's good to know he still needs his mom.

We discovered the joy of babysitters. Having gone almost 7 years without any real or regular babysitting this was an amazing thing for us. Originally needing it while we attended Alpha we have now decided that a regular date night is in order and have kept it up. Our babysitters rock and we are very thankful for them.

The joy of a local blogging community was discovered when a friend found my blog and then through hers I found others and vice versa. I have made new friends locally that I have grown to admire and respect and, hopefully, in 2007 can spend more time getting to know.

Dh and I attended Alpha and grew closer in the Lord and each other. He is now wanting to be baptised and when I mentioned that I would like to pray over Christmas Dinner he was all for it. He would never have not allowed it but what I mean is that he fully participated and was glad in it. He loves our Church and has even brought one of his friends into it. Through that he hopes that his friend's entire family will start participating.

Both dh and I started working in several ministries and one of them is with youth. He leads the Grades 5-7 and I the high school students. We both love it. Did I mention we love our Church and feel we were called back to this town so we could give more to it? We don't have the financial means to give but we gift our time as much as we can.

We threw a Christmas Eve party at the last minute and had a great time with all who showed up and, despite my worries, there was enough food for all.

We spent the New Year's long weekend at family camp at a local ranch where we made new friends, saw some familiar faces and basically had a good time.

Whew - 2006 was a busy year and the above are only highlights. In a family of five there is so much going on at all times that sometimes it is hard to keep up.

We are very blessed to have the people we have in our life. We hope we show you all how much you mean to us. All of you have touched our lives in some way and we are forever grateful for all that we have learned from each and everyone one of you. Blessing of love and joy to all for 2007.

First day of my last year in my 30's

2006-12-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

We have had an awesome holiday so far. On Christmas Eve we had a bunch of wonderful friends over for an open house and people came and left and it was all good. I was frantic for a while thinking I'd not made enough food and wasn't organised enough but I think it all turned out just fine. Thankfully a couple of friends arrived just in the nick of time to help me keep #3 busy and whip some cream. I was planning on taking photos of all the food and activity but I was just too busy. I really appreciate everyone coming by and taking time out of their busy holiday schedule to join us. It was truly a beautiful day. We never broke out the wine but the punch (both children and adult versions) disappeared and apparently my dh drank all the homemade eggnog.

Christmas day arrived very early (course I was up very late sharing some wonderful Irish Coffees with my husband and chatting with our visiting friend from Calgary, so early is a relative thing...it was after 7 so that's good at least). The kids opened their stockings, presents were passed around and the mayhem ensued. The kids were completely spoiled by all (for them it's a benefit of being the only grandchildren on both sides) and dh and I did well by each other. Then I made a lemon breakfast blintz bake that is very good and very high in fat but hey, it's Christmas. I also made the bacon that 4ever29 showed me and that both her and Magnificent M swear by. I didn't have parchment paper but tried to improvise. It wasn't quite as good as R's but it was good and next time I'll have it perfected I know. Try, try again! LOL Mmmmmmm, bacon.

I also decided to save our pork loin for a day when others could share it with us so we just had appetizers again for dinner. I honestly didn't feel like cooking again (had cooked so much the previous two days) and since it was mostly for dh and I we decided we were happy with leftover appy's. We got the kids to bed early and just relaxed together. It was very nice.

Today, I slept in and was allowed to (meaning the kids were instructed to leave me be) since it is my birthday. I will now be starting the first day of the last year in my 30's. Guess I'll be 4ever39. Scary how old that sounds and yet how young I really feel. There is no part of me that feels I should be this age. I hope that means I have a young heart and mind. I remember being younger and thinking this age was ancient. I still have so much I plan to do and I pray that I'll be given all the time I need to do it.

Santa Baby

2006-12-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

The kids are waiting for Santa tonight and I'll just be glad once he's been and gone. Any more ramped up and my kids will be flying. I've got some last minute preparations to do and then, hopefully, I'm done.

C'mon Santa Baby...."Hurry down the chimney tonight" :-)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-12-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel festive! LOL Yes, it took me a while and #3 and I are fighting, what is our 3rd or 4th ear infection in so many months BUT the Christmas spirit is starting to fill me up.

Look at our beautiful tree:

We finally found a pretty star for the top (not pictured above) and it sits beautifully up there but it doesn't light up so we miss that.

#2 and I had a girls time out together and we came home with this tree. First we went and had hot chocolate (peppermint mocha for me) at Starbucks, then we looked for a present for #1 from her and #3 and then we bought this tree. It is huge! It touched the ceiling and I had to break a bit off to fit the star on it. You should have seen us trying to stuff this in our car. Our old car had a roof rack, this one doesn't. With three car seats we don't have a lot of room to manouveur but I did a lot of juggling and rammed it in. #2 had pine needles in her face for a bit but luckily we weren't far from home! LOL

I think I'm in Love

2006-12-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

...but not to worry I will not be cheating on my husband, as I believe he is just as enamoured as I. Well maybe not. Who knows.

I just know I had the best bacon of my life today. How can bacon be that good? Well let me tell you my friend: Apparently you just add brown sugar and you put your bacon in the oven instead of frying it. I promise you your whole outlook on bacon will change.

My outlook on a number of things changed today I think. I'm not sure entirely how or what as I'm still thinking on a lot of them but it's just a feeling I have. At this point all I'm willing to offer is that I ate some of the best breakfast food I've had in forever, enjoyed some mighty good conversation and was filled with joy. Then I came home to make my own version of a strata for dinner that included a spiced smoked salmon, green onions, peas and cream cheese. I do not think my scale will thank me tomorrow for today. However, my mouth did. Therefore, I gave my scale the day off.

I am thankful for many things today.

When is the holiday over?

2006-12-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

And by that I mean the school holiday - not necessarily Christmas. #1 child has been home 4 days, count 'em - 4 whole days, on his school break and already my house is in complete uproar.

Now I love #1 child like there is no tomorrow and I will continue to do so but I am about to dive in to the brink of madness and not come back. We have a very delicate routine #2, #3 and I. Very delicate. It is important that that balance not be upset as then #3 doesn't sleep. He NEEDS to sleep. Especially now, as he has another ear infection (so do I but I don't have time for it therefore I am praying it right on out of my body).

I am literally so tired of breaking up squabbles and overly rough horseplay between #1 and #2 OR just as I have #3 asleep someone running yelling through the house and waking him up. Then he thinks he's done sleeping because, you know, 5 minutes is good enough for him.

I have tried to come up with creative uses for the kids time. I have tried to spend time with them. I have tried bribing them with Santa (oh yes, I have so sue me) and explained the naughty list yet again. I have talked of discipline and so many things yet the closer we get to CHristmas the more ramped up they get. Especially #1. His ADHD gets particularly bad at Christmas. At least this year we have him on the herbal and other program we are doing and it is moderately better than last year. Last year not only was he hyper, he was sad. Hyper and sad is not a good combination.

OK, my rant is over and I think I feel less like crying now. Sometimes I just feel the desire to get it all out. Now to go find a vat of chocolate to soak in - too heck with the diet! (Nah, not really but maybe just a little! LOL)

Oh look here's one...

Now - doesn't that look lovely!

Rubber ducky, you're the one

2006-12-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

I make stuff

2006-12-07T13:55:00.000-08:00

I just made the best salad in the ENTIRE world. Seriously. I was making bacon and eggs for #2 child and was wanting something a bit healthier for myself and looking at the bacon drippings in the pan when I had an idea. I remembered this from some cooking show I watched and I turned the pan on low and added balsamic vinegar which sizzled and cooked up all the brown bits and oil (I did only say a bit healthier! LOL). Then I added some minced garlic and let it reduce. In a large bowl I assembled a spring green salad mix, diced tomatoes and red peppers, craisins, feta, one piece of bacon chopped up and a small amount of crushed walnuts. I poured some of the dressing over top. OMG! This salad rocks. I think I'm in love. Sigh.

Earlier this week I finished #2 child's second slipper, having made the first back in August. Yeah, I know, I was busy. She was thrilled with her slippers (that she begged me to make her after seeing #3 child's hat, who knows why), she had picked the colour and the style. She wore them for all of five minutes and hasn't worn them since. She is like her mother who hates to wear socks (I didn't even in the snow) but it is cold on the floor in this house and I do wear slippers when it is that cold on the feet. Here are her slippers being modelled by her:

The show is over and the fun was free

2006-12-04T12:22:00.000-08:00

For all the work that went in to Christmas Cafe it sure went by fast. It was funny how when I was in it, it seemed to take forever and now it's over. I enjoyed some days more than others, decided that I'm not good if others aren't organised, and I discovered something new in the show each and every time I heard it (and if you were counting, which I'm sure you weren't, that was 11 "official" performances and 3 more rehearsal performances so that's a lot).

The actors were all very good and should be proud of themselves. Especially, the younger ones. Doing a run like that is not always easy even for adults and these kids just did a bang up job. I think Frosty also deserves an extra bit of applause for sitting there and not moving for half the play. How he didn't fall asleep and fall off his sleigh I'll never know.

I learned a few other things this last week but mostly that sometimes my sarcasm isn't lost on people. I know I should curb it sometimes but there are times when...well, there are times, that's all.

The last thing I learned is that my dh is hot. Yes, I know he is my dh and I always have thought him cute but this week, watching him help in a variety of capacities as jack-of-all-trades guy around the set and at Jacawafab (or however you spell that - basically our youth group fun thing), I found him hot. Especially when he was all dressed up on Friday and he did that all by himself (ha - usually I have to make him wear dressy clothes). The funniest thing about that was as he was running around or playing he split his pants. That's what you get for doing an inflatable obstacle course in dress clothes (I got a jammed toe and swollen ankle and my pants started coming off part way through the obstacle course but nothing ripped so that is a good thing). He didn't care, just kept right on going. He even beat one of our youth guys who is very fast and a talented sports guy. I was impressed.

So now me and my weary bones (did I mention that I'm pretty much too old to be running around and doing inflatable obstacle courses with young kids?) are very happy that this is all over for another year. Just like summer kids' camp it is fun for a while and then even nicer when it's over.

New Photos

2006-11-30T09:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know I do not blog as regularly as I used to. I'm just so busy these days. So in view of that this post will mostly be photos. Two reasons...I have cute kids and it's easier :-).

and one just cause I thought it was pretty:

Update on my July "weight of the world" post

2006-11-25T13:04:00.000-08:00

I am down 14lbs, that was as of almost two weeks ago and I think it's a bit more now but I will wait until my official weigh in to be sure. It's coming off slowly but apparently that's a good thing, especially when you are nursing a baby. You need to make sure you are getting enough calories in to keep making breast milk and also so as not to change the composition, I think. It's something like that anyway and I'm going with it because otherwise I feel like I haven't lost the weight fast enough. Plus being sick the last month means I haven't really done any walking or anything, I've barely had enough energy to live so...I was actually surprised when I was down another 3 the last time I weighed in. I'm hoping to be down 2 this time. I went for a month without losing one pound. The scale did not move, it ticked me off BUT I had lost 3 inches on my waist and another 3 on my hips (those are totals not that one time) so that was a good thing, it was nice to note something was happening even when the scale wasn't moving. When I was down the 3lbs at the last weigh in there was no inch loss. I think there will be next time as when I quickly checked myself it looked like another 1/4" on the waist and 1/2" on the hips so YAY!

Remember this was the before:
Not much difference but still, it's a start. You can tell more if you turn the model to the side (just hit the arrow).

It's hard for me to even believe I'm posting about this here because my weight has been an issue my whole life. I guess that I've finally come to terms with who I am for the most part. If I post it here I know I can still fail at the weight loss and hopefully not be ridiculed for it. Sometimes I don't eat good things but I am trying to do everything in moderation. At this point I am trying and I know that's got to be good enough for me.

Little sharp tooth

2006-11-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

From now on that is #3's name. His little bottom tooth finally broke the surface and it is quite sharp. He is learning about his tooth. He is learning that sometimes biting down hard is not a good thing, especially if it is on Mommy's finger or other parts. He is also learning that he can chew, even though his baby cracker/cookie thingy pretty much melts in his mouth. Today I saw him scraping the cracker thingy on his tooth and chewing.

With the onset of this tooth and the last few weeks him sitting independently I now realise that time is going too fast and my last baby is growing up quickly. Where did the time go? When did my tiny peanut get so heavy?

Yesterday he rode in his big boy car seat for the first time (don't freak out it is a convertible car seat, appropriate for his age, weight and height and it faces backwards). He loved it. I put him in and then placed his quilt (made by the Women's group at Burnett - thank you!!) over his lap and tucked it around him. He was a very happy boy. I am all at once sad that he is getting so big and happy that my arm doesn't have to fall off anymore from carrying the car seat. Whew!

I thought I would show a little progression of time here:

Breastfeeding Woman Kicked off Plane!!

2006-11-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

OK, I read this on a friend's blog and I'm appalled. Here is the article:

Woman kicked off plane for breast-feeding
Files complaint saying she was being discreet, airline disagrees
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:07 p.m. ET Nov 16, 2006

BURLINGTON, Vt. - A woman who claims she was kicked off an airplane because she was breast-feeding her baby has filed a complaint against two airlines, her attorney said.

Emily Gillette, 27, of Santa Fe, N.M., filed the complaint with the Vermont Human Rights Commission late last week against Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines, said her attorney, Elizabeth Boepple. Freedom was operating the Delta flight between Burlington and New York City.

Gillette said she was discreetly breast-feeding her 22-month-old daughter on Oct. 13 as their flight prepared to leave Burlington International Airport. She said she was seated by the window in the next-to-last row, her husband was seated between her and the aisle and no part of her breast was showing.

A flight attendant tried to hand her a blanket and told her to cover up, Gillette said. She declined, telling the flight attendant she had a legal right to breast-feed her baby.

Moments later, a Delta ticket agent approached and said the flight attendant had asked that the family be removed from the flight, Gillette said. She said she didn’t want to make a scene and complied.

“It embarrassed me. That was my first reaction, which is a weird reaction for doing something so good for a child,” Gillette said Monday.

A Freedom spokesman said Gillette was asked to leave the flight after she declined the blanket.

“A breast-feeding mother is perfectly acceptable on an aircraft, providing she is feeding the child in a discreet way,” that doesn’t bother others, said Paul Skellon, spokesman for Phoenix-based Freedom. “She was asked to use a blanket just to provide a little more discretion, she was given a blanket, and she refused to use it, and that’s all I know.”

A complaint against two airlines was filed with the Vermont Human Rights Commission, although Executive Director Robert Appel said he was barred by state law from confirming the complaint. He said state law allows a mother to breast-feed in public.

The Vermont Human Rights Commission investigates complaints and determines whether discrimination may have occurred. The parties to a complaint are given six months to reach a settlement. If none is reached, the commission then decides whether to go to court. A complainant can file a separate suit in state court at any time.
© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15720339/?from=ET

Now, that is wrong. Apparently there is a staged "nurse" in at Delta and MSNBC is running a poll on your opinion. There are also messages boards .

I am shocked and appalled that an airline would do this. Get a grip! As a nursing Mom, my baby is 8 months, I have enough trouble nursing in public as it is without worrying about being kicked off a plane! So the Mom didn't take a smelly airplane blanket, so what? Half the time babies rip the blankets off anyway and spend more time squirming under them. The fact that Delta/Freedom airlines removed a mother from the plane for nursing her child is just astounding to me. On her blog Angela talks about how excessive perfume/cologne, unbathed or otherwise smelly people are more offensive and I agree. Frankly, I think that airplanes should be like hospitals and have a no scents rule but that is not the issue here. I hope they issue a public apology to this family.

I truly feel for this poor Mom. Here we are taught that breastfeeding is best for our babies but then we are supposed to hide in our homes while we do it? No wonder I get all nervous and sweaty whenever I try to nurse (discreetly of course) in a restaurant or something. I feel like everyone is judging me and I guess I was right.

Tired much?

2006-11-15T22:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am. I still have the ear infections so now am on antibiotic drops so hopefully that will help. Other weirdness is going on too but my ears has been the longest so...

I'm so tired but I haven't been able to sleep lately. My mind keeps going even though my body shut off long ago.

I've got so much going on and I'm trying to figure out how to get it all done and get better. How do people do all that they do and keep going and, more importantly, why can't I? I never get this sick (when I'm pregnant it doesn't count because that is just synonymous with sick for me)and it kind of sucks.

That's all. Back to your regularly scheduled programs.