When time flies
Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday. He is now 7. I know everyone says this but it was only yesterday that he was as big as my new baby. They look almost exactly alike so it brings me back to those times with #1 son a lot. Oh how I adored those months with my first child, just staring at him and he at me. When he was first born we owned a condo in North Vancouver and at the end of the day we'd stand on the balcony looking for Daddy's bus to arrive. Things were a bit simpler then as dh worked right downtown and was able to take the seabus. He'd get off the bus and look up and there we'd be waving down at him and all excited to spend our evening as a little family. Of course sometimes I was just excited to be able to go take a shower! LOL
Then we bought our first house and moved out to Maple Ridge. From there it just gets busier and busier (with a lot of moves and at one time owning a home here and in Calgary) and now we have three kids and no house of our own. Well we do live in a house but we're renting for now. Why does that feel so wrong to say and to admit to people? We sold for very good reasons and moved to Vancouver to see how it would work there (it didn't, too expensive, not very family oriented and just not really our pace) and since then the market has gone up so high we've been a bit priced out of it. We could buy a condo but since there are now 5 of us we'd rather have a house so we're going to have to wait. We have a great house that we're renting that is perfect in size and yard and price so we shouldn't be embarassed but somehow I just feel at our age that we should own. Oh well, I digress.
Once you have kids it really seems like time flies. You blink and they aren't babies anymore. Really it's been since my dh and I decided to get married that time has just taken off. I remember it moving much more slowly and painfully prior to that. I wouldn't go back to my early 20's for anything in this world. My thirties have rocked (and been rocky but for the most part the best years ever of my life). As I scarily zoom closer and closer to 40 time is just picking up speed. Is that the same for everyone or ? I wonder.
Well anyway, my little guy (hereafter to be called big guy so the new little guy can be called little guy! LOL) is now a big guy. He went from this:
to this:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my big little guy!
Random thoughts
So I'd like to know how come we've been here almost two months now and we have just as many boxes unpacked as we did 6 weeks ago. I really don't understand it. Plus the fact that we haven't really needed anything that's in those boxes. Although I do admit to trying to find something and then finding it in a box and then that box finally gets unpacked. The problem is this: 3 kids 6 and under, it's summer, and basically there's so much other stuff that fills our time that by the time we could unpack it would be 11pm every night. Who wants to do it then? There is a box of our photos in frames that I would really like to unpack though as it doesn't seem quite right not to have my family surrounding me.
I love photos. I love memories. I love being surrounded by those memories that show me truly how blessed I've been. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I think my life is hard. I know that in truth it is what I make it and I have it so much better than most. I am learning to not take anything for granted. I wish my hormones would catch up to the way I want to feel. I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy, the nursing or my age or what but my hormones are all over the place and it's very distracting. You see I have the best husband and kids in the world and I want them to know I know that but sometimes it seems like I'm just so cranky. I don't want to be and I don't mean to be. The good thing is usually 10 minutes later I'm not anymore so.... you see it's enough to drive you batty.
So I wrote my biology exam last Saturday and I'm pretty sure I didn't do very well. I did study and really tried to learn this stuff but for the first time in my life it was like my brain was not computing (well the first time I will admit that in any event!). I would read something and it would just not go in. You see this course was supposed to be done before Joshua was born but I was so sick in the pregnancy that I didn't even really start it until after he was born. Then I've crammed 8 months worth of work into 4. In any event normally I'm very good at retaining information and "seeing" pages of text in my head. It's what got me through high school and college when I was younger and spent more time having fun then "applying" myself. :-) However, at this point I was just too tired I guess. Anyway, I took the exam and wondered how come I'd never seen any of this information before and the diagram section I was sure was made up because I didn't recall seeing any of those before either. And those were my strong areas!! Turns out that they were in my text. Who knew?! I'll probably find out my results next week but I'm not sure I want to. I'm not so good with failure. I was upset with my A- in English Lit last year.
I really do expect an awful lot of myself. When people think I expect a lot of my children or husband they need to know that I expect way more of myself. I don't really know where I got that from. My mom isn't like that, maybe my Dad is a bit but not really. Maybe there was just so much turmoil in my life growing up that I figured I needed some measure of control. Who knows.
I saw the movie The Devil Wears Prada last night with a friend. It was a good movie, made me laugh but also feel sad at the same time. Talk about control issues! "That's all".
Happy 4 mnth Birthday little man!
Dear Joshua,
4 months ago today you arrived but from the moment we found out about you you changed our world. We thought we were finished having children but you made it apparent that you were coming no matter what. You made us the 1-3% who get pregnant anyways. You made yourself known in some way every day of my pregnancy. You wanted out at 28 weeks but held on until 34 to become the big strong guy that you are. You arrived and you were our blessing from God. You were so perfect despite everything. You make me smile and laugh every day. You are the spitting image of your older brother and a result of how much love I have for your Daddy. Your older sister adores you so much that you'd think she was your Mommy.
We thought we were going in one direction and you and God turned us in another. Thank you. Thank you for completing our family.
Love Mommy
Then the weight of the world fell away
...or at least mine is supposed to. Today I started a weight loss study that is being offered by a doctor and university. I was really excited because I'm done with this weight. It is my past and I see in my future, um, less weight.
So I weighed in and started my official part in the weight loss study; unfortunately where I thought my weight was and where there scale says it is are two different places! Not so funny!! I don't own a scale (haven't in years as I hate the things but will probably invest in one now) and I was going by what I weighed right after Joshua was born. I was sure I had gone down. Huh, apparently not. But how could I have lost an inch on my waist and hips (which I was excited to discover)? Everyone has been telling me that I look like I've lost weight so why am I weighing so much? I was really trying not to cry. Oh well, that's why I'm doing this right? Plus every scale is different and I'm nursing Josh so you know certain parts of my anatomy have to weigh a lot right?!! *blush* OK enough excuses.
Above is my before(now) virtual model and here (right) is my short term (meaning that I still want to lose more after that it's a good start!LOL) goal after model
Here's a place I go to help me with my journey (it's free, free, free!):
Get a Free Online Diet
Just lovin' my kids
Well this post will be short and sweet (well maybe not but I'm going to try! LOL). Just wanted to update everyone with how gorgeous my Joshua is becoming every day and what a joy he is even though he never wants me to put him down. I am building some nice biceps under my layer of padding because of it!
The baby last week.
A and M playin' it up for the camera.
I'm so blessed to have such wonderful kids. How come I only think that when they're sleeping?! Nah, I think that always I just realize it more when they are sleeping and looking like little dolls (and well they aren't talking back to me or running around either!).
That's it for now, I never seem to have enough time lately but I have a lot of stuff that I want to write so when I finish my Biology exam next week (gotta love upgrading school - blech!) then I'll try to devote more time to my writing. Or you know after it's not summer and I'm not outside all the time. Around then! VBG :-)
